Dictator Cadaverous, or Kaiser... Kaiser What?

hey, all! guess what? i am preparing to purchase a new victim in my line of fish terrorism. i'm pretty sure i'm getting a goldfish, since i've got goldfish fodder in my room (from my ex-fish, Megrims, his name being a synonym for the bluuues) and i really want to try to keep a goldfish alive for at least three days this time. Megrims died in less than twenty-four hours. i've got my whole "death-bringer" routine down to an art.
so now i am cramming my head full of words from thesaurus dot com, and of course the words i'm searching are all morbid or creepy. i can't have a fish with a regular or cheerful name! where's the fun in that? besides, you can't have "Dictator Rainbow" or "Kaiser Puppy-eyes" or anything like that. so, if you're confused by the meanings of any of my possible fishy names, look it up.
hmm... Kaiser/Dictator Bellicose? hmm... still not as cool as Dictator Cadaverous, right?
yes. right. anyway, i've been having some issues recently, but i'm beginning to think they were all in my head, and now everything's being blown way out of proportion and people could be confronted and it's not okay. everything would have been fine and not overly-wild if mom hadn't wonked out and called the priiiincipal. but no, some people like to make life a little tougher than it is (god, i love song references that no one else recognizes). gahr, i'm sure everything will be just fine. i'll just wait for the whole thing to blow over.
i think i'm actually handling it pretty well. yeah, my heart goes a-thump-thump-thumpthumpthumpthumpthump about the whole thing, but it's all in my head at this point. also, several other peoples' heads, which is not okay. i probably should have kept quiet about the whole thing. so right now the only conflict is mostly internal, y'know, man versus self, dani versus guilt/insecurity/confusion/worry. but it's okay. it's okay. i'll just fill up on the happy songs and dance and sway.
i'm also having some romance issues, but it's nothing i'll get all depressed about. it just makes me wonder, and it helps me to see that i am totally creep/stalker-esque and i should probably tone down on that just a bit. oh, well. nothing too serious. hormones, y'know? it's not like i'm madly in looove or anything. just slightly in lust. it happens.
Kaiser/Dictator Libido? hrmm...
oh, man! hahaha. one of the synonyms for "libido" on thesaurus dot com is "the hots." i find that amusing.
Dictator/Kaiser/General? Gauche. hmm! General Gauche... not bad, not bad... but i think ashley might frown on the same first letter approach. but it's a different SOUND, y'know? but, hrm, it sounds an awful lot like "General GOSH!"
teehee, Dictator Damnable. i believe ashley would definitely frown on the double-D thing. (hee, double-D).
hrm, why is it that "tremendous" can be both awful and wonderful? the synonyms all kind of contradict each other. heh, i guess that's how it goes sometimes.
Dictator/Kaiser Conure? it's a kind of bird. i've got to make things stranger.
it's silly, when i got Megrims, mom was suggesting all sorts of laughable-atable (shhh, it's a word) names, like Sharky and Jaws and just all sorts of eye-roll types of names. and i'm sure it would be SOOO mysterious: "oh, yeah, wanna come meet Jaws?" "oh, i bet that's your fish, huh?" "damn." whereas with a name like DICTATOR CADAVEROUS, who's gonna know? "hey, wanna come meet Dictator Cadaverous?" "say whuh?"
Dictator/Kaiser de Trop...?
Dictator/Kaiser Loquacious (sounds like a hooker with big hair)...?
Dictator/Kaiser Garrulous...?
Lieutenant Mundane...?
y'know, it's all bethany's fault that i want all of them to have a title before their name.
Kaiser Fuhrer. heehee, that's kind of redundant, isn't it?
Dictator Oligarch?
POMPADOURASAURUS (sorry, sorry! awful reference to a webcomic).
Dictator Truculence?
BOB BULLET WOUND.
LARRY THE LYCAN.
PENELOPE THE CANTALOUPE (rhyming, of course).
oh, god. argh, argh. i'll just tell you how it goes, okay? maybe i'll even send you a picture of the little dude or dudette! and no, i don't care if it is a chick fish, it's going to keep one of these manly-man names (excluding Kaiser Loquacious).