"If You Were a Cannibal, What Would You Wear to Dinner?"

i spend too much time clicking "give me a new question" when i edit my profile page. this question, however, was very satisfying. the following is my response, which was too long for my profile page.

James was a peaceful kind of guy, with kind blue eyes. His skin was soft and caramel-colored, stretched taut over his muscles. His lips were full, his nose was straight and pointed. He was a handsome man.
Recently, a woman had moved in next door to James. He had been sitting outside with a book when the moving van had pulled up. He watched her, with bored curiosity, as she hopped out of the passenger seat and went around to speak to the movers. She wore a t-shirt, jeans, and tattered converse high-tops. Her long, brown hair fell down her back, and she wore a lock of it tucked behind her ear. She was plain-looking, without any makeup or defined style. She glanced at James for a moment, her eyes sweeping up his figure, taking in his muscled physique and healthy, glowing skin. She rose one eyebrow briefly, her eyes going out of focus for a moment, then turned her attention back to the movers.

The next day, the doorbell rang. James took his time getting to the door, walking slowly and confidently. He wasn't surprised when he turned the knob.
"Hey, I'm sure you already know this, but I just moved in next door. I'm Danielle."
She held out her hand, which was almost completely engulfed by James's as he shook it.
"James," he replied, nodding curtly.
"James." She smiled widely, seemingly very pleased. "Well, nice to meetcha. I'll let you go. See you around!" She giggled, turned around, and bounced across his yard to her own.
James lifted his eyebrows and shut the door.

Surprisingly, James found himself thinking about Danielle throughout the week. She had a very plain appearance, but happiness poured from her every pore. She seemed to be an interesting person, and James was curious. Four days after her visit, he went to see her.
"Hey, James," she chirped as she opened the door. She giggled, as if his name was funny.
"Uh, hey," he replied, slightly perturbed by her laughter. He hesitated for only a moment, then went on. "I was wondering if you would like to come over to my place for dinner later."
He wasn't nervous. He knew what he looked like, and he had never been turned down. He glanced behind Danielle, where a pile of boxes stood tall in the dining room. She hadn't unpacked?
Danielle smiled slyly. "Sure," she answered. "I'll be over at seven." Then she shut the door.

James looked at the clock, setting plates on the table. 6:53. He stood, checking the spread on the table. He hoped Danielle wasn't a vegetarian; he had made steak fajitas. He cocked his head to one side, wondering vaguely if she liked Mexican food.
He glanced in the mirror by the door, tousling his dark hair with his fingers. He pulled the hem of his t-shirt down, hoping Danielle hadn't gotten too dressed up.
When he opened the door to greet her, he was shocked to see that she had barely gotten dressed at all.
He barely had a moment to take in the black leather, red lace and sharp stilettos before she pushed him back against the wall, slamming the door behind her.
"Hello, James," she said casually, as if her leg was not wrapped around his waist.
"Hey," he replied gruffly. "Uhm, what are you-?"
"Do you really need to finish that question, James?" Danielle's lips formed the words carefully, slowly, red lips against white teeth. James bit his bottom lip. She didn't look plain at all anymore.
"Why?" he asked instead, his eyes traveling down to her chest.
"Why the hell not?"
James, quickly realizing that he enjoyed this surprise, pulled Danielle's other leg up around him and kissed her neck, walking them to the couch, where he lay down with her and began kissing the length of her body. The happiness that she radiated was diluted now, mixed with lust and something else... James came up to those red lips, his eyelids heavy, and he kissed her.
Which, of course, gave her the perfect opportunity to reach up and slit his throat.

He tasted just as delicious as he looked.