anyway, i guess suppose i could throw you a bone, try and find something to talk about with you. i'm going to florida on saturday, with the marching band. i play the alto saxophone, and i'm learning that i'm actually not all that bad at it. i've been to a few lessons now, since kahlise dragged me to my FIRST EVER one a month or two ago. i really like band lessons. they're very easy-going and mr. edgeton isn't as scary as i thought he was. actually, he's a really great guy and i get along with him just fine. he knows that i am a nervous person, and he gets that. he also teases me about it, but it's all in good fun. back to florida. bethany and her beau, griffin, are on the same bus as evan and me. kahlise and matti, however, are on a completely different bus. it will be weird without them, i think. due to some past students' shenanigans (blowjob on the bus, woohoo!), we are required to swap seat partners after a certain hour of the night. bethany is my night partner and has agreed to let me put a pillow on her shoulder and sleep there, which is awfully nice of her since she's OCD and generally doesn't like being touched. i love you, bethany. i think i'll end up being wide awake in the night since i'll be all comfy with evan for... what? over twelve hours? before switching to bethany. i'll be drowsy during the day and hyper at night. we're not allowed to do anything during the after hours, though. i'll just scoot over to bethany's seat, stare at my knees, try sleeping without having to touch my poor OCD friend, and then finally succumb to using her shoulder as a pillow-holder and sleeping fitfully for maybe an hour before i wake up, look around at everyone, and stare off into space for the rest of the night. i can't sleep on a bus, silly! i've never done it before, i don't think. what makes this trip any different? but hey, at least i can giggle to myself as i play staring games, and no one will know. i bet it will be fun to just turn in the seat and stare at bethany for as long as i can without bursting into a fit of laughter, and then i'll stare at whoever is on my other side (probably evan or griffin) and snicker to myself as they sleep. actually, i have a hard time believing that bethany will sleep. maybe we can play staring games together. SOUNDS FUN, DOESN'T IT, BETHANY? anyway! enough about the bus ride, dani; no one cares.
the band is marching at Disneyworld, you see. i've never been there, and i'm awfully nervous about marching. i've never really marched and played before; during football season, i just memorize my places on the field and stay in step. i don't play. but now i'm actually trying, and it's not so bad except for the fact that i don't use the glide-step; i kind of bounce around and wiggle my butt and trip over my own feet. without the glide-step, it's a whole lot harder to hold whole notes without them being bumped around... you know, like when someone goes "AAAAAAAAH" and you thump them on the back a lot so it's like, "AAA-AAA-AAA-AAA-AAAH" instead. meh, marching won't be so bad... it's the uniforms that get to me. we've got to squeeze into (okay, maybe it's just me who squeezes) these little orange jackets that squish down our boobs (or maybe just my boobs) and warm us up without fail, even in winter. i'm worried, of course, about that last bit. how warm must it be in florida at this time of year? i'm going to be dying in my t-shirts and jeans, let alone in that thick marching uniform! i worry that i'll pass out from heat exhaustion while marching along in Disney. but it's okay; i've been worrying a lot lately, about a lot of things, but i've never any need to.
i'm going to hug donald duck, you can count on it. i freaking love donald duck. i don't care that i'm terrified of masks and mascot uniforms and all that; i trust Disney. they wouldn't hire some nutjob serial rapist to dress up in the donald duck suit and pose for pictures with three-year-olds all day. it'll be a good person in that suit, and they'll be amused by the teenage girl who went to Magical Kingdoms just to give them a hug. i freaking love donald duck! in fact, i've been saving up for this trip so that i can buy the biggest, cuddliest donald duck there is. i know that's retarded, and i know that i won't actually buy the biggest and cuddliest one because that'll be the most expensive, and i've learned how to save money. i'm terrified of spending now. but i will buy a donald duck, or i will be immensely disappointed.
i'm really excited about florida, i am. i was trying to lose some weight so that i could go swimming for the first time in three years, but i gave up on that for some reason and i don't own a bathing suit. well, uh... i guess i can swim in shorts and a t-shirt? except i don't own shorts. ... i am going swimming, dammit. i will jump into the ocean with all my clothes on, if i have to. i've done it before, but with pools, and the ocean is one hundred times better than any shitty pool. sure, it scares the hell out of me, what with the sharks and the fish poo and the squishy animals living on the bottom (i stepped in what may have been a dead jellyfish the last time i was at the ocean), but there's something so great about it. there are still so many undiscovered critters in the ocean, so many mysteries. aaand someone in another country could be in that same ocean at the very same moment as me, maybe behaving in the same way (ogling her sexy beau?). it's just so big, and i am so very small and insignificant in comparison. and phytoplankton! phytoplankton amaze me for some reason. they're so very, very tiny, and there are so very, very many. if we are insignificant, what are phytoplankton? in a way, though, i guess they do keep many things alive. little fish eats phytoplankton, bigger fish eats little fish, biggest fish eats bigger fish, sharky eats biggest fish, whatever. what do humans keep alive? ourselves. nothing but ourselves and the living things that we want to keep to ourselves. we kill and kill and kill and eat and eat and eat and whenever some animal gets hungry and gobbles up a human, it's terrible, oh so terrible, but we get hungry and gobble up animals all the freakin' time. we're selfish. i guess maybe phytoplankton does more for the world than we do, in a way. we're just lucky that we've got the brains and figured out all of the wonderful things we did. and no, i'm not a vegetarian all of the sudden, i'm just acknowledging the fact that the human race is selfish and hypocritical. i'm only human, too. i gobble up animals all the time! oh. um... i got distracted, sorry.i'm going to prom, y'know. i'm excited, sure, but i'm very worried about it. i don't dance. i mean, i can't. i mean, i can't because i don't and i don't because i can't and i won't learn 'cause i'm stubborn as hell. i'm worried i'll ruin it for people somehow. maybe i'll just sit there in my pretty several-hundred-dollar dress and my perfectly made-up face and big ringlets of shiny hair, staring at the dancers and shaking my head frantically whenever evan asks me to dance. but i don't want to do that. i want to have fun. i want to go in there in my expensive getup and have all my "girlfriends" tell me how gorgeous i look and i want to tell them right back that they look even better, ohmigod i love your hair, look at those shoes, ohmigod, your nails! maybe i can just be a regular-type girl for one night, and maybe i can just go out on the dance floor and do whatever awkward thing i feel like doing and maybe i can just go with the flow of the whole romantic thing (i'm not saying i'll wake up at an after party, confused and naked in a stranger's bed next to evan, that's just silly) and just let the whole experience be wonderful. i'll tell you one thing, though: i am not wearing shoes to prom.
1 comment:
Yes it does sound fun. XD I don't think I'll be able to sleep. No matter how tired I am. I'm going to miss the comfort of my three pillows, five blankets and my hallway lights.
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