the respectable Sergeant Pepper was engulfed by the great maw of a monstrous cat on the evening of January 28, 2010.
he will be missed by his comrades, Dictator Cadaverous and General Libido.
soon to replace his position in the war is a certain Admiral Oust, who has not yet reported to duty.
Friday, January 29, 2010
Monday, December 28, 2009
A Fine Example of Douchebaggery
as of saturday, my dad is in the hospital. he had been in a lot of pain since thursday morning, but he stuck around with us until christmas was over and didn't complain once to any of us. i didn't even know he was in pain on christmas day, but i remember teasingly pointing out to him that i didn't think i had seen him smile once that day, which he answered with a big, cheesy grin. he helped my grandpa move their heavy TV and replace it with another. i didn't know that he was hurting at all until he left for the emergency room saturday morning. his face was red and his voice was strained, but he was still trying his best to hide from me that he was really sick.
after blood tests, x-rays, and a CAT scan, the doctors found a two-inch abnormality on his colon. this could be an infected scratch or hole, or it could be cancer. they're doing a colonoscopy today, and the results should be in around one o'clock. the doctors say that he's really young for cancer, but there's still that chance. and if it is cancer, that's the very thing that killed his father a few years ago. grandpa had throat cancer from chewing tobacco, though, and we got dad to quit chewing so that he won't die a similar way: too early, too painfully.
i'll admit that i really haven't been concerned at all until today. i hadn't cried at all until i started typing this up and after i realized that he really is trying to be strong for all of us even when he's probably pretty scared. i just told evan yesterday that i wasn't too worried about dad because he's a strong guy and i'm not all that close to him, anyway. what a horrible thing to say! i don't know what i was thinking. i love my dad, and i would be devastated if something happened to him. our whole family would. i would have to be the strong one while mom cried and cried. i would have to take over the chores that dad does every day without once being asked. i would end up chopping wood for the fire, endlessly cleaning dirty dishes, cooking, cleaning, all the tedious things that dad has to do for us without any appreciation. i know that he feels that we're not grateful for him, but we are! we would be nowhere without him. i would be nameless if he hadn't adopted me way back when. my older brother would be, too, and that's where the title of this post comes in.
the majority of my readers know that my brother, eric, and i were legally disowned by our biological father, rusty rauscher, when i was nine and eric was thirteen. lyle hannes married our mother and gave up all of his freedom in life to take us in and help raise us, no matter how disgruntled we were about some strange man taking over our lives. we treated him horribly, and we still do, but he's been there for us and hasn't given up. well... he hasn't given up on me, at least, but eric is a lost cause that we've all given up on. rusty didn't want anything to do with us. he didn't want to have to pay child support, and he didn't want to have to spend time with us for just a couple of days a month.
i know for a fact that rusty wouldn't have disowned us if it weren't for me, and i guess i feel kind of guilty for being the cause of eric's abandonment, but it wasn't my fault. maybe you don't believe me. maybe you think i'm being melodramatic, as i am so apt to do, but mom herself told me that eric was rusty's favorite, and when i asked her if rusty would have kept eric if i hadn't been born, she gave me kind of a sad look. but even still, rusty disowned eric! he willingly gave him to lyle, and he just as willingly signed the papers that stated that he would not be in any sort of contact with us until we were eighteen or unless we sought him out. only eric would be careless enough to leave our whole family to go back to the man that didn't want him. it pisses me off, it really does. guess where he's going right now, before knowing dad's test results? that's right; he's going to cedar rapids to be with rusty, and then he's going to fucking mardi gras.
eric lives in a world all to himself now, hitchhiking around with no connections to anybody. he's more selfish and narcissistic now than ever, but if rusty was in the hospital, he would be there. he doesn't give a flying shit about our real dad, and he won't let mom show him the proof that rusty has been lying to him about what happened. our dad could die while eric's away, and he wouldn't come back. when grandpa hannes died, eric stayed away. he never showed any sort of sympathy about it, and he more or less told mom to fuck off whenever she brought up the funeral.
what did we do to make eric into such a terrible person? mom tried her hardest to raise her all by herself for so many years, and she did alright for a single parent. i'm okay, aren't i? i haven't touched drugs or alcohol. the only times i'm even exposed to such things are in my own house when eric comes back to "visit." evan and i came into the house at ten-thirty last night, only to find eric and his buddy zach matson surrounded by giant bottles, hooting suggestive things at us. mom told me that it would be best if evan left and i went straight to bed so that eric and matson wouldn't mess with us at all. we did as she said, and everything was fine. honestly, though, i have never been around any underage drinking except for in my own house, and that's unacceptable.
eric believes that society is ruining our society. does that make any sense to you? he thinks that we should all question everything that goes on, but then we'd all end up questioning everyone else's questioning. questions would go unanswered forever, and we'd all die unsatisfied. being suspicious doesn't get anything done, it just makes us paranoid and unhappy. if you're part of this society, accept that and get on with your miserable little life.
to put it all bluntly: my brother's a dick and i often want him to die a gruesome death.
i still think that my dad's strong enough to get through this. it won't be cancer, and he'll be fine. i'll post the test results when i've learned them.
after blood tests, x-rays, and a CAT scan, the doctors found a two-inch abnormality on his colon. this could be an infected scratch or hole, or it could be cancer. they're doing a colonoscopy today, and the results should be in around one o'clock. the doctors say that he's really young for cancer, but there's still that chance. and if it is cancer, that's the very thing that killed his father a few years ago. grandpa had throat cancer from chewing tobacco, though, and we got dad to quit chewing so that he won't die a similar way: too early, too painfully.
i'll admit that i really haven't been concerned at all until today. i hadn't cried at all until i started typing this up and after i realized that he really is trying to be strong for all of us even when he's probably pretty scared. i just told evan yesterday that i wasn't too worried about dad because he's a strong guy and i'm not all that close to him, anyway. what a horrible thing to say! i don't know what i was thinking. i love my dad, and i would be devastated if something happened to him. our whole family would. i would have to be the strong one while mom cried and cried. i would have to take over the chores that dad does every day without once being asked. i would end up chopping wood for the fire, endlessly cleaning dirty dishes, cooking, cleaning, all the tedious things that dad has to do for us without any appreciation. i know that he feels that we're not grateful for him, but we are! we would be nowhere without him. i would be nameless if he hadn't adopted me way back when. my older brother would be, too, and that's where the title of this post comes in.
the majority of my readers know that my brother, eric, and i were legally disowned by our biological father, rusty rauscher, when i was nine and eric was thirteen. lyle hannes married our mother and gave up all of his freedom in life to take us in and help raise us, no matter how disgruntled we were about some strange man taking over our lives. we treated him horribly, and we still do, but he's been there for us and hasn't given up. well... he hasn't given up on me, at least, but eric is a lost cause that we've all given up on. rusty didn't want anything to do with us. he didn't want to have to pay child support, and he didn't want to have to spend time with us for just a couple of days a month.
i know for a fact that rusty wouldn't have disowned us if it weren't for me, and i guess i feel kind of guilty for being the cause of eric's abandonment, but it wasn't my fault. maybe you don't believe me. maybe you think i'm being melodramatic, as i am so apt to do, but mom herself told me that eric was rusty's favorite, and when i asked her if rusty would have kept eric if i hadn't been born, she gave me kind of a sad look. but even still, rusty disowned eric! he willingly gave him to lyle, and he just as willingly signed the papers that stated that he would not be in any sort of contact with us until we were eighteen or unless we sought him out. only eric would be careless enough to leave our whole family to go back to the man that didn't want him. it pisses me off, it really does. guess where he's going right now, before knowing dad's test results? that's right; he's going to cedar rapids to be with rusty, and then he's going to fucking mardi gras.
eric lives in a world all to himself now, hitchhiking around with no connections to anybody. he's more selfish and narcissistic now than ever, but if rusty was in the hospital, he would be there. he doesn't give a flying shit about our real dad, and he won't let mom show him the proof that rusty has been lying to him about what happened. our dad could die while eric's away, and he wouldn't come back. when grandpa hannes died, eric stayed away. he never showed any sort of sympathy about it, and he more or less told mom to fuck off whenever she brought up the funeral.
what did we do to make eric into such a terrible person? mom tried her hardest to raise her all by herself for so many years, and she did alright for a single parent. i'm okay, aren't i? i haven't touched drugs or alcohol. the only times i'm even exposed to such things are in my own house when eric comes back to "visit." evan and i came into the house at ten-thirty last night, only to find eric and his buddy zach matson surrounded by giant bottles, hooting suggestive things at us. mom told me that it would be best if evan left and i went straight to bed so that eric and matson wouldn't mess with us at all. we did as she said, and everything was fine. honestly, though, i have never been around any underage drinking except for in my own house, and that's unacceptable.
eric believes that society is ruining our society. does that make any sense to you? he thinks that we should all question everything that goes on, but then we'd all end up questioning everyone else's questioning. questions would go unanswered forever, and we'd all die unsatisfied. being suspicious doesn't get anything done, it just makes us paranoid and unhappy. if you're part of this society, accept that and get on with your miserable little life.
to put it all bluntly: my brother's a dick and i often want him to die a gruesome death.
i still think that my dad's strong enough to get through this. it won't be cancer, and he'll be fine. i'll post the test results when i've learned them.
Friday, December 25, 2009
Bleach Thing That You Don't Care About!
1. The first character I fell in love with:
uryu ishida.
2. The character I never expected to love as much as I do now:
mayuri kurotsuchi. i adore him SO FUCKING MUCH and I DON'T KNOW WHY.
3. The character everyone else loves that I don’t:
ichigo kurosaki. lil' fucker. i don't hate him, oh no, he's fine, but i don't love him.
4. The character I love that everyone else hates:
mayuri again, i suppose. i don't know that everyone hates him, but bethany doesn't like him much.
5. The character I would shag anytime:
uryu. he's just such a great nerd boy, and he's chivalrous to boot!
6. The character I'd want to be like:
shunsui kyoraku! he's all laid-back and wonderful. i'd like to think i'm already kind of like him.
7. The character I'd slap:
orihime inoue. all the fucking time. little bitch. YOU DON'T HEAL THE ENEMY, YOU DIPSHIT.
8. A pairing that I love:
shunsui x ukitake!!
9. A pairing that I despise:
um... ulquiorra x grimmjow?
10. Favorite character:
i uh ohmigosh. mayuri? kenpachi? i, uh, kenpachi! um, wait, no... i... auuuugh
11. What are my five favorite things about the fandom?
squeeing at bethany, screaming at new episodes, having watched every episode yet to be aired, staring down t-shirts online, thoroughly enjoying bleach yaoi.
12. What are my five least favorite things about the fandom?
not being able to buy the t-shirts i want, being jealous of bethany when she gets bleach anything, the fact that the characters aren't real, not being able to watch whenever i want, wanting to viciously hug uryu.
13. Who are my five favorite characters?
mayuri, kenpachi, shunsui, byakuya, and sometimes uryu. but then there's ikkaku... and renji... and i AUUUUGH
14. Who are my five least favorite characters?
orihime, haineko, tobiume, um, i... erm? wait, wait... omaeda... hmm... that lame first-squad vice captain who's name i don't even know.
15. What are my five favorite pairings?
shunsui x ukitake, mayuri x urahara, rukia x renji, renji x byakuya, ichigo x orihime. (woah, i chose some STRAIGHT pairings?) but i also like matsumoto x ichimaru! there's also hisagi x izuzu, and izuzu x renji (just 'cause they've got tattoos), and mayuri x akon, and ikkaku x yumichika and SO MUCH DEAR GOD I LOVE IT ALL
16. What are my five least favorite pairings?
damn it, i don't know... ulquiorra x grimmjow, toshiro x matsumoto... yoruichi x byakuya, kurosaki x kurosaki (C'MON!), ishida x ishida (SICKOS).
17. Which character you are most like?
um... i still hope i'm like shunsui, but then i kind of haven't compared myself to many characters. what do you think, bethany?
18. What is my deep, dark fandom secret?
i... i don't know that i have any. i guess i ... hmm... uh? kon. i'm in love with kon. i am so in love with kon. i want to put kon into evan's body and let him huggle my breasts for as long as he wants.
uryu ishida.
2. The character I never expected to love as much as I do now:
mayuri kurotsuchi. i adore him SO FUCKING MUCH and I DON'T KNOW WHY.
3. The character everyone else loves that I don’t:
ichigo kurosaki. lil' fucker. i don't hate him, oh no, he's fine, but i don't love him.
4. The character I love that everyone else hates:
mayuri again, i suppose. i don't know that everyone hates him, but bethany doesn't like him much.
5. The character I would shag anytime:
uryu. he's just such a great nerd boy, and he's chivalrous to boot!
6. The character I'd want to be like:
shunsui kyoraku! he's all laid-back and wonderful. i'd like to think i'm already kind of like him.
7. The character I'd slap:
orihime inoue. all the fucking time. little bitch. YOU DON'T HEAL THE ENEMY, YOU DIPSHIT.
8. A pairing that I love:
shunsui x ukitake!!
9. A pairing that I despise:
um... ulquiorra x grimmjow?
10. Favorite character:
i uh ohmigosh. mayuri? kenpachi? i, uh, kenpachi! um, wait, no... i... auuuugh
11. What are my five favorite things about the fandom?
squeeing at bethany, screaming at new episodes, having watched every episode yet to be aired, staring down t-shirts online, thoroughly enjoying bleach yaoi.
12. What are my five least favorite things about the fandom?
not being able to buy the t-shirts i want, being jealous of bethany when she gets bleach anything, the fact that the characters aren't real, not being able to watch whenever i want, wanting to viciously hug uryu.
13. Who are my five favorite characters?
mayuri, kenpachi, shunsui, byakuya, and sometimes uryu. but then there's ikkaku... and renji... and i AUUUUGH
14. Who are my five least favorite characters?
orihime, haineko, tobiume, um, i... erm? wait, wait... omaeda... hmm... that lame first-squad vice captain who's name i don't even know.
15. What are my five favorite pairings?
shunsui x ukitake, mayuri x urahara, rukia x renji, renji x byakuya, ichigo x orihime. (woah, i chose some STRAIGHT pairings?) but i also like matsumoto x ichimaru! there's also hisagi x izuzu, and izuzu x renji (just 'cause they've got tattoos), and mayuri x akon, and ikkaku x yumichika and SO MUCH DEAR GOD I LOVE IT ALL
16. What are my five least favorite pairings?
damn it, i don't know... ulquiorra x grimmjow, toshiro x matsumoto... yoruichi x byakuya, kurosaki x kurosaki (C'MON!), ishida x ishida (SICKOS).
17. Which character you are most like?
um... i still hope i'm like shunsui, but then i kind of haven't compared myself to many characters. what do you think, bethany?
18. What is my deep, dark fandom secret?
i... i don't know that i have any. i guess i ... hmm... uh? kon. i'm in love with kon. i am so in love with kon. i want to put kon into evan's body and let him huggle my breasts for as long as he wants.
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
The Envious Sourpuss: That's Me!
every day, i'm finding more and more that i am the most jealous person i know. if someone does something right, i start sending off sparks of fury. the people that make me angriest in this way are those closest to me, of course. evan, my brother eric, and bethany especially. because i don't want to fill everyone's twitter pages with my ranting, i'll ramble at you, blog friends.
evan is good at mostly everything. he's a prodigious musician, as you probably all know. he can sing like no other, and if you hand him a strange instrument, he can learn how to play it impeccably it in a matter of weeks.
he's handsome as sin, as well. sorry to hint at my sexual behavior, but his entire body is my favorite work of art. his eyes are somehow green and blue at the same time, with just the right amount of freckles in them. his fucking eyelashes go on for longer than the universe itself, and his lips are shaped perfectly and are always juicy and nice. there isn't a single iota of chub on him, and, in my opinion, he has just the right amount of muscle. he's just strong enough to lift me (and let's face it: i weigh a helluva lot more than he does), but not so strong that i'm afraid of him. how could anyone fear someone so sweet, anyway?
which leads us to another factor of my jealousy: how can someone so fucking talented be so humble and kind? until i started shooting darts of adoration his way, he was the most insecure little bug i knew. but he's still modest, even with me mumbling constant compliments through just as frequent kisses to his rock-hard abs.
now, onto bethany. (i promise these paragraphs will be far less sexual. i can't promise they'll be less cheesy, though.)
i met bethany in fourth grade. i knew of her existence before then, but i was always afraid of her. envious of her. everyone knew that she was the best singer in our class, and i hated her for it. in fact, i still hate it. when she has a solo at a concert, i can't help but let a big, proud grin spread across my face, but i still envy her voice. mr. hosbond, her musical theatre director and the one teacher i wish i could impress, thinks that she's the best soloist he's ever heard. i used to think that i had a chance at being a great singer, but insecurity has prevented me from trying.
and bethany, you're beautiful. i've always envied your hair for its amazing growth rate, and it's always so smooth and soft. your eyes are like, BAM! and, whether you'll accept it or not, your skin's fantastic. you somehow manage to look lazy and still oddly pretty in pajama pants and nerdy-as-hell t-shirts. you're the perfect example of a desirable nerd girl, which you know i wish i could be.
you're a great writer and an even better artist. you've got more of a personality than i do, which i always thought was a difficult feat to accomplish. mr. hosbond says you're a character. you're better in school than i am (doesn't take much, but still), and you're one of the reasons why i've never tried for speech team. you and ashley are too good, and i don't want to have to compete for the stage with you.
doubtless you'll retaliate to this whole post with, "don't envy me! i envy you! you're better at drawing than i am and you've got boobs and great eyes." thanks, but i've heard it a hundred times and i don't feel any differently.
and lastly, stupid eric.
my mom just worships him. i don't know what happened. i used to be the good kid, the smart one. now that he's away, she sees him as a fucking genius, and oh, isn't he cute in his hobo clothes? christmas is already hell for me. the relatives that we barely know are down, and they've never met eric, never heard his disrespectful comments, his hypocritical notions of peace through force, his suggestions of smoking pot to achieve happiness. the stories mom tells are all so admirable, enviable. don't you wish your kids were like eric is? he doesn't care for material possessions, you know. oh, no, he's never asked us for money. yes, he's in california right now and he hopes to eventually go to normandy to be an organic apple farmer. he says the apples there are great, but he's never tasted them. he's so silly, our son.
nothing is mentioned of the drugs, the alcohol, the sleeping around. no one hears of the story where he left the Hannes family to go back to the father who knowingly and willingly disowned him seven years ago and attempted to murder his mother. no one hears about the things that he screamed at mom, the false accusations, the lies spread from father to son. no one knows that eric asks for money regularly, nor do they know that my christmas money was taken from me so that mom could send it to him.
how can someone so utterly horrible be so well-liked? eric always treated us like shit. are people forgetting this just because he's too far to yell at us? i was on the B honor roll for the first time since middle school, and i got nothing more than a, "did you know?" out of my parents. eric refuses to go to college, and he gets over five hundred dollars from his family members.
i finally got a higher chair placement in band, i'm in select choir, and i'm in the advanced group in my composition class. i don't ask my parents for a cell phone, i told them not to get me the car they got me, and i don't want them to buy me excessively flashy things. i do the chores i'm asked to (most of the time), and i try not to mouth of too much of the time. but even with all of these things going for us, i am their nobody child. i'm not doing anything exciting; i'm just here. i guess it's understandable that they're not jumping up and down with pom-poms and screaming my name.
i suppose i'm done ranting for now. i envy many, many more people, and i'm obvious about it, but i envy these three the most of all.
oh yeah.
merry christmas?
evan is good at mostly everything. he's a prodigious musician, as you probably all know. he can sing like no other, and if you hand him a strange instrument, he can learn how to play it impeccably it in a matter of weeks.
he's handsome as sin, as well. sorry to hint at my sexual behavior, but his entire body is my favorite work of art. his eyes are somehow green and blue at the same time, with just the right amount of freckles in them. his fucking eyelashes go on for longer than the universe itself, and his lips are shaped perfectly and are always juicy and nice. there isn't a single iota of chub on him, and, in my opinion, he has just the right amount of muscle. he's just strong enough to lift me (and let's face it: i weigh a helluva lot more than he does), but not so strong that i'm afraid of him. how could anyone fear someone so sweet, anyway?
which leads us to another factor of my jealousy: how can someone so fucking talented be so humble and kind? until i started shooting darts of adoration his way, he was the most insecure little bug i knew. but he's still modest, even with me mumbling constant compliments through just as frequent kisses to his rock-hard abs.
now, onto bethany. (i promise these paragraphs will be far less sexual. i can't promise they'll be less cheesy, though.)
i met bethany in fourth grade. i knew of her existence before then, but i was always afraid of her. envious of her. everyone knew that she was the best singer in our class, and i hated her for it. in fact, i still hate it. when she has a solo at a concert, i can't help but let a big, proud grin spread across my face, but i still envy her voice. mr. hosbond, her musical theatre director and the one teacher i wish i could impress, thinks that she's the best soloist he's ever heard. i used to think that i had a chance at being a great singer, but insecurity has prevented me from trying.
and bethany, you're beautiful. i've always envied your hair for its amazing growth rate, and it's always so smooth and soft. your eyes are like, BAM! and, whether you'll accept it or not, your skin's fantastic. you somehow manage to look lazy and still oddly pretty in pajama pants and nerdy-as-hell t-shirts. you're the perfect example of a desirable nerd girl, which you know i wish i could be.
you're a great writer and an even better artist. you've got more of a personality than i do, which i always thought was a difficult feat to accomplish. mr. hosbond says you're a character. you're better in school than i am (doesn't take much, but still), and you're one of the reasons why i've never tried for speech team. you and ashley are too good, and i don't want to have to compete for the stage with you.
doubtless you'll retaliate to this whole post with, "don't envy me! i envy you! you're better at drawing than i am and you've got boobs and great eyes." thanks, but i've heard it a hundred times and i don't feel any differently.
and lastly, stupid eric.
my mom just worships him. i don't know what happened. i used to be the good kid, the smart one. now that he's away, she sees him as a fucking genius, and oh, isn't he cute in his hobo clothes? christmas is already hell for me. the relatives that we barely know are down, and they've never met eric, never heard his disrespectful comments, his hypocritical notions of peace through force, his suggestions of smoking pot to achieve happiness. the stories mom tells are all so admirable, enviable. don't you wish your kids were like eric is? he doesn't care for material possessions, you know. oh, no, he's never asked us for money. yes, he's in california right now and he hopes to eventually go to normandy to be an organic apple farmer. he says the apples there are great, but he's never tasted them. he's so silly, our son.
nothing is mentioned of the drugs, the alcohol, the sleeping around. no one hears of the story where he left the Hannes family to go back to the father who knowingly and willingly disowned him seven years ago and attempted to murder his mother. no one hears about the things that he screamed at mom, the false accusations, the lies spread from father to son. no one knows that eric asks for money regularly, nor do they know that my christmas money was taken from me so that mom could send it to him.
how can someone so utterly horrible be so well-liked? eric always treated us like shit. are people forgetting this just because he's too far to yell at us? i was on the B honor roll for the first time since middle school, and i got nothing more than a, "did you know?" out of my parents. eric refuses to go to college, and he gets over five hundred dollars from his family members.
i finally got a higher chair placement in band, i'm in select choir, and i'm in the advanced group in my composition class. i don't ask my parents for a cell phone, i told them not to get me the car they got me, and i don't want them to buy me excessively flashy things. i do the chores i'm asked to (most of the time), and i try not to mouth of too much of the time. but even with all of these things going for us, i am their nobody child. i'm not doing anything exciting; i'm just here. i guess it's understandable that they're not jumping up and down with pom-poms and screaming my name.
i suppose i'm done ranting for now. i envy many, many more people, and i'm obvious about it, but i envy these three the most of all.
oh yeah.
merry christmas?
Saturday, November 28, 2009
It's Been Decided
as soon as evan hooks up his scanner and we start scanning the crap out of my sketchbook, i wouldn't mind posting my drawings here. i would have to change my blog to a mature one on account of... well... recently, my drawings are slightly... er, pornographic. furries and whatnot. kitties, red pandas, rams.
i'm sorry. i'm a horrible person.
but other than a few errors here and there, my drawings are pretty good. the red panda girl has a weird face, and a snow leopard girl has a clubfoot, but i'm still learning. i really don't know how to draw feet, and the red panda was one of my firsts, so those are understandable flaws. right? it's all practice.
maybe i'll have a website for these drawings some day.
this is different from being a whore myself. instead of sleeping around, i am drawing pictures to improve my ability and to entertain nerd boys. i'm still being a whore, but with my drawing ability instead of my blowjob ability. isn't that so much better?
anyway, not every drawing of mine is pornographic. i will doubtless upload many, many adorable, cuddly pictures, and many failures that i will scream about. this post is just warning you of what is to come so that you'll be careful when you open the link to my newest posts.
i'm sorry. i'm a horrible person.
but other than a few errors here and there, my drawings are pretty good. the red panda girl has a weird face, and a snow leopard girl has a clubfoot, but i'm still learning. i really don't know how to draw feet, and the red panda was one of my firsts, so those are understandable flaws. right? it's all practice.
maybe i'll have a website for these drawings some day.
this is different from being a whore myself. instead of sleeping around, i am drawing pictures to improve my ability and to entertain nerd boys. i'm still being a whore, but with my drawing ability instead of my blowjob ability. isn't that so much better?
anyway, not every drawing of mine is pornographic. i will doubtless upload many, many adorable, cuddly pictures, and many failures that i will scream about. this post is just warning you of what is to come so that you'll be careful when you open the link to my newest posts.
Sunday, October 18, 2009
My Doomed Friend: Lieutenant Prurient
because i went to a faraway city with bethany and ashley today, i brought home a new friend. he is a crowntail betta fish, and his name is lieutenant prurient. like my super-old fishy friend, general libido, the lieutenant has a name dealing with lust. it's fun to use words that my parents don't know, because they're too proud to go, "what the hell do prurient and libido mean?" so i get to go on naming my fishies sexy words.
sadly, lieutenant prurient requires a certain temperature that i cannot provide him with. my bedroom is usually in the fifty- or forty-somethings temperature-wise, so he can't stay down there. my other fishy friends, general libido, dictator cadaverous, and sergeant pepper, are all little goldfish that i have saved from being fed to pet sharks, so they can live in pretty much any temperature. they're not finicky. actually, i think that the dictator, general, and i are nearing our one year anniversary. i think i fell in love with the lil' buggers on the last day of january. they've lived forever. i can only hope that they'll endure the cold of my bedroom and last long enough for us to have fun with an anniversary party. i'll probably just lug the tank over to ashley's, where the dictator and general will be reunited with gary and cristoff, who are ashley's original fish from january. bethany's first fish died almost immediately. it's quite sad.
i really do love fish. they're beautiful, and it's so interesting to think about how their little fishy bodies work. besides, they're dumb as fuck and you get to invent personalities for them! also, they will NEVER RUN AWAY. they're very easy to take care of (depending on the fish you buy), and they're super fun to talk to because they look like they're paying attention if they're hungry. sergeant pepper is especially attentive. he's always hungry, so he's always staring at me. the general and dictator weren't always like that, but the sergeant has helped them to develop a new habit. so now i constantly have three goldfish staring at me. it makes me happy. i know they're fish and they're probably terrified of me, but i like to pretend that they respect me and rely on me because i feed them.
ooh, i almost forgot to tell you why i picked the lieutenant. i wasn't going to at first. he's a different kind of betta, which sucks because he needs different water temperatures (i didn't know!), but he's very cool-looking. his fins fan out in a way slightly different than regular betta fish, and he was showing off at wal-mart, where i bought him. out of all the fish, he was the only one that was absolutely freaking out and puffing up all over the place. i've never really seen a betta get pissed off like that, so i decided that i really liked his attitude and that i needed to have him. of course, bethany and ashley helped me make the final decision after around five minutes of picking up and staring at all of the other options.
i feel good for getting him out of that itty-bitty bowl that places like to keep betta, but i feel bad for freezing him. i hope that he acclimates quite miraculously and lives for a very long time. or maybe the internet lied to me and he's just like normal betta and can live in my house without a problem. that would be very nice.
i bet you're wondering how i successfully created such a prodigious post about fish. i'm kind of wondering the same thing. i guess i really like fish. how do you feel about fish? THAT'S GOOD. I'M GLAD YOU LIKE FISH. I'M GLAD WE'VE EXCHANGED OUR OPINIONS ABOUT FISH.
also, does anyone other than bethany read my blog? please, make your presence known to me! reveal yourself! let me know that you read my rants about fish with badass names.
sadly, lieutenant prurient requires a certain temperature that i cannot provide him with. my bedroom is usually in the fifty- or forty-somethings temperature-wise, so he can't stay down there. my other fishy friends, general libido, dictator cadaverous, and sergeant pepper, are all little goldfish that i have saved from being fed to pet sharks, so they can live in pretty much any temperature. they're not finicky. actually, i think that the dictator, general, and i are nearing our one year anniversary. i think i fell in love with the lil' buggers on the last day of january. they've lived forever. i can only hope that they'll endure the cold of my bedroom and last long enough for us to have fun with an anniversary party. i'll probably just lug the tank over to ashley's, where the dictator and general will be reunited with gary and cristoff, who are ashley's original fish from january. bethany's first fish died almost immediately. it's quite sad.
i really do love fish. they're beautiful, and it's so interesting to think about how their little fishy bodies work. besides, they're dumb as fuck and you get to invent personalities for them! also, they will NEVER RUN AWAY. they're very easy to take care of (depending on the fish you buy), and they're super fun to talk to because they look like they're paying attention if they're hungry. sergeant pepper is especially attentive. he's always hungry, so he's always staring at me. the general and dictator weren't always like that, but the sergeant has helped them to develop a new habit. so now i constantly have three goldfish staring at me. it makes me happy. i know they're fish and they're probably terrified of me, but i like to pretend that they respect me and rely on me because i feed them.
ooh, i almost forgot to tell you why i picked the lieutenant. i wasn't going to at first. he's a different kind of betta, which sucks because he needs different water temperatures (i didn't know!), but he's very cool-looking. his fins fan out in a way slightly different than regular betta fish, and he was showing off at wal-mart, where i bought him. out of all the fish, he was the only one that was absolutely freaking out and puffing up all over the place. i've never really seen a betta get pissed off like that, so i decided that i really liked his attitude and that i needed to have him. of course, bethany and ashley helped me make the final decision after around five minutes of picking up and staring at all of the other options.
i feel good for getting him out of that itty-bitty bowl that places like to keep betta, but i feel bad for freezing him. i hope that he acclimates quite miraculously and lives for a very long time. or maybe the internet lied to me and he's just like normal betta and can live in my house without a problem. that would be very nice.
i bet you're wondering how i successfully created such a prodigious post about fish. i'm kind of wondering the same thing. i guess i really like fish. how do you feel about fish? THAT'S GOOD. I'M GLAD YOU LIKE FISH. I'M GLAD WE'VE EXCHANGED OUR OPINIONS ABOUT FISH.
also, does anyone other than bethany read my blog? please, make your presence known to me! reveal yourself! let me know that you read my rants about fish with badass names.
Saturday, September 19, 2009
Blogger? What's That?
erm, hi there. did you miss me at all? i'm sorry. i wasn't avoiding you or anything, it's just... nothing exciting (or is it nothing appropriate?) is happening, and so that's why i haven't been talking with you lately. i know that we used to be the best of friends, and i know we've grown apart... i am sorry. maybe we can hang out for a bit today, just you and me? but it has to be quick... i have plans with bethany and ashley in a few minutes and then more plans with evan after that. yes, i know... i know i'm unreliable... but please, blogger, let's just relax and try to have fun for the short time we've got together.
the marching band has been working very hard for quite some time now. mr. edgeton says that the march that we're currently learning is the hardest to ever have been brought onto the field. i feel special. and i feel even more special because i was one of seven people to be tapped on the shoulder by mr. e. while marching. the people who get tapped are the people who he catches doing something right, and we get to rush up into the bleachers and watch our band march without us. i don't know what he caught me doing right; i believe that he just really likes my red satin pajama pants.
bethany and ashley are no longer friends with (SECRET FRIEND). it's really quite disconcerting. i still love all of them, but now it's kind of difficult to talk to them without bringing the other friend too close. i have to walk away to go talk to either bethany and ashley or kahlise. it's strange, but it doesn't bother me. if being apart from each other makes their lives more peaceful, then they should be apart.
evan and i are continuing our realistic relationship. what i mean by realistic is just that we know for a fact that we are going to break up at one point or another. we don't try and pretend that we'll be together forever or anything silly. when he leaves for basic in the summer, it'll be the end of our blissful little fling. sometimes it's disheartening to think about, but it would be worse to believe that i would stay with him and then get my heart broken. being realistic is safe and easy. besides, marriage is damn creepy.
i've been told that i am turning into a nerd. the elite group! am i truly becoming more like my beloved rulers of the world? sure, i like pocky. it's tasty. how does that make me a nerd, though? i like the anime Bleach, but you don't become a nerd from watching 207 episodes of one anime. do you? as thrilling as it is to believe that i could be undergoing a wonderful transformation, i can't accept that becoming a nerd is so simple. i still don't like D&D or Munchkin or any of those silly board or card games. i find Lucky Star completely worthless, and Samurai Girl is a random, half-assed show that appeals only to lonely loser boys that like the panty shots.
well, i've had fun chatting with you, darling. however, my friends are on their way and i must be going. i hope to talk to you again soon, blogger.
the marching band has been working very hard for quite some time now. mr. edgeton says that the march that we're currently learning is the hardest to ever have been brought onto the field. i feel special. and i feel even more special because i was one of seven people to be tapped on the shoulder by mr. e. while marching. the people who get tapped are the people who he catches doing something right, and we get to rush up into the bleachers and watch our band march without us. i don't know what he caught me doing right; i believe that he just really likes my red satin pajama pants.
bethany and ashley are no longer friends with (SECRET FRIEND). it's really quite disconcerting. i still love all of them, but now it's kind of difficult to talk to them without bringing the other friend too close. i have to walk away to go talk to either bethany and ashley or kahlise. it's strange, but it doesn't bother me. if being apart from each other makes their lives more peaceful, then they should be apart.
evan and i are continuing our realistic relationship. what i mean by realistic is just that we know for a fact that we are going to break up at one point or another. we don't try and pretend that we'll be together forever or anything silly. when he leaves for basic in the summer, it'll be the end of our blissful little fling. sometimes it's disheartening to think about, but it would be worse to believe that i would stay with him and then get my heart broken. being realistic is safe and easy. besides, marriage is damn creepy.
i've been told that i am turning into a nerd. the elite group! am i truly becoming more like my beloved rulers of the world? sure, i like pocky. it's tasty. how does that make me a nerd, though? i like the anime Bleach, but you don't become a nerd from watching 207 episodes of one anime. do you? as thrilling as it is to believe that i could be undergoing a wonderful transformation, i can't accept that becoming a nerd is so simple. i still don't like D&D or Munchkin or any of those silly board or card games. i find Lucky Star completely worthless, and Samurai Girl is a random, half-assed show that appeals only to lonely loser boys that like the panty shots.
well, i've had fun chatting with you, darling. however, my friends are on their way and i must be going. i hope to talk to you again soon, blogger.
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