My Love is Greasy, Fattening Murder on a Bun.

a dragon-sized cheeseburger for my dragon-sized love for you. if you're even reading this blog, i must love you lots.

The Kraken.

bethany requested i do this.

DIRECTIONS:
1. Put Your iTunes on Shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. You must write down the name of the song no matter how silly it sounds!
4. Put any comments in brackets after the song name.
5. Tag at least 10 friends. (no.)
6. Anyone tagged has to do the same, because fun pointlessness spreads like a virus.

If someone says, “Is this okay?” You say? Magical Mystery Tour.
[hey, that sounds kind of cool, even though it makes no sense.]

How Would You Describe Yourself? Simple and Clean.
[that works quite nicely, actually. fucking SWEET.]

What Do You Like in a girl/guy? Sha La La La La!
[i do enjoy that sha-la-la-la-la kind of feeling when i'm crushing on a boy. :D]

What is Your Life's Purpose? A Shot of Rhythm and Blues.
[okay, then. i'd better start taking singing lessons. or maybe saxophone lessons!]

What is Your Life Motto? Drops of Jupiter.
[gee, i just love my random music on iTunes.]

What Do Your Friends Think of You? That Green Gentleman.
[hey, i'm not green! nor am i a gentleman. big meanies.]

What Do You Think of Your Parents? Romeo and Juliet.
[it works. my parents are ultra lovey-dovey and i don't appreciate it.]

What Do You Often Find Yourself Thinking About? Some Other Guy.
[ahaha. totally kick-ass and relatively true.]

What is 2+2? Leave Your Bourbon on the Shelf.
[i'm gonna need it if you start giving me math problems to solve.]

What Do You Think of Your Best Friend? Stop the Dams.
[huh. i'm... not getting anything out of that one.]

What Do You Think of the Person You Like? I Got a Woman.
[uhm... i can assure you that i am not into chicks.]

What Is Your Life Story? Ticket to Ride.
[hmm... yes. yes, my life is a carnival ride of sorts.]

What do you want to be when you grow up? Prelude in E minor.
[aww, that one's no fun. maybe i'll be a composer, then. i'll be CHOPIN! i'll go back in time, kill chopin and take his place in history. mwahahaha.]

What do you think of when you see the person you like? Happiness is a Warm Gun.
[i probably do want to kill him, whoever he is.]

What will you dance to at your wedding? I'll Fly Away.
[it's true. i probably will fly away. i can't get married; i'll panic and run for the hills!]

What will they play at your funeral? You Spin Me Right Round.
[fuck yeah. everyone will rock out at my funeral.]

What is your hobby/interest? Roll Over Beethoven.
[does that seem sexual to you? because i would totally sex beethoven.]

What is your biggest fear? Hello Goodbye.
[it's true! i'm afraid of abandonment. but only a little, so it's a kind of lie.]

What is your biggest secret? Matters of Blood and Connection.
[i can't talk about it.]

What do you think of your friends? Lonesome Tears in My Eyes.
[i don't HAVE any friends. waaaaah.]

What will you post this as? The Kraken.
[ahahaha. me likey.]

aww, i want MORE!!!

"If You Were a Cannibal, What Would You Wear to Dinner?"

i spend too much time clicking "give me a new question" when i edit my profile page. this question, however, was very satisfying. the following is my response, which was too long for my profile page.

James was a peaceful kind of guy, with kind blue eyes. His skin was soft and caramel-colored, stretched taut over his muscles. His lips were full, his nose was straight and pointed. He was a handsome man.
Recently, a woman had moved in next door to James. He had been sitting outside with a book when the moving van had pulled up. He watched her, with bored curiosity, as she hopped out of the passenger seat and went around to speak to the movers. She wore a t-shirt, jeans, and tattered converse high-tops. Her long, brown hair fell down her back, and she wore a lock of it tucked behind her ear. She was plain-looking, without any makeup or defined style. She glanced at James for a moment, her eyes sweeping up his figure, taking in his muscled physique and healthy, glowing skin. She rose one eyebrow briefly, her eyes going out of focus for a moment, then turned her attention back to the movers.

The next day, the doorbell rang. James took his time getting to the door, walking slowly and confidently. He wasn't surprised when he turned the knob.
"Hey, I'm sure you already know this, but I just moved in next door. I'm Danielle."
She held out her hand, which was almost completely engulfed by James's as he shook it.
"James," he replied, nodding curtly.
"James." She smiled widely, seemingly very pleased. "Well, nice to meetcha. I'll let you go. See you around!" She giggled, turned around, and bounced across his yard to her own.
James lifted his eyebrows and shut the door.

Surprisingly, James found himself thinking about Danielle throughout the week. She had a very plain appearance, but happiness poured from her every pore. She seemed to be an interesting person, and James was curious. Four days after her visit, he went to see her.
"Hey, James," she chirped as she opened the door. She giggled, as if his name was funny.
"Uh, hey," he replied, slightly perturbed by her laughter. He hesitated for only a moment, then went on. "I was wondering if you would like to come over to my place for dinner later."
He wasn't nervous. He knew what he looked like, and he had never been turned down. He glanced behind Danielle, where a pile of boxes stood tall in the dining room. She hadn't unpacked?
Danielle smiled slyly. "Sure," she answered. "I'll be over at seven." Then she shut the door.

James looked at the clock, setting plates on the table. 6:53. He stood, checking the spread on the table. He hoped Danielle wasn't a vegetarian; he had made steak fajitas. He cocked his head to one side, wondering vaguely if she liked Mexican food.
He glanced in the mirror by the door, tousling his dark hair with his fingers. He pulled the hem of his t-shirt down, hoping Danielle hadn't gotten too dressed up.
When he opened the door to greet her, he was shocked to see that she had barely gotten dressed at all.
He barely had a moment to take in the black leather, red lace and sharp stilettos before she pushed him back against the wall, slamming the door behind her.
"Hello, James," she said casually, as if her leg was not wrapped around his waist.
"Hey," he replied gruffly. "Uhm, what are you-?"
"Do you really need to finish that question, James?" Danielle's lips formed the words carefully, slowly, red lips against white teeth. James bit his bottom lip. She didn't look plain at all anymore.
"Why?" he asked instead, his eyes traveling down to her chest.
"Why the hell not?"
James, quickly realizing that he enjoyed this surprise, pulled Danielle's other leg up around him and kissed her neck, walking them to the couch, where he lay down with her and began kissing the length of her body. The happiness that she radiated was diluted now, mixed with lust and something else... James came up to those red lips, his eyelids heavy, and he kissed her.
Which, of course, gave her the perfect opportunity to reach up and slit his throat.

He tasted just as delicious as he looked.

Germerica: A Bearded Nation.

hey, guys! bethany made a new blog post, so i figure i'll follow in her footsteps, as always. here i am! what do i have to tell you about today? more worthless junk! hurrah! hurrah!
first off: CYBERNATIONS. GERMERICA. bad-ass. Germerica is my nation. i'm dan the WOman. Germerica is a brilliant, brilliant nation... waaaaaaaaaah! it's ranked #24,572 of 28,783 nations (85.37%)... but it's getting better every day. hells yeah. i try and check up on it daily. i can thank my buddy, the bearded man, for getting me involved with an addicting game. i like ruling my own totalitarian nation. i don't like my citizens' choice in religion, but whatever... the bearded man is one great nerd of a guy. his nation kicks my nation's ass. he says i should pass a law in my nation that states that every male citizen must have a beard. i agree wholeheartedly. every dude in my nation needs to be able to grow and maintain a beard. beardless children must stay in boarding schools until they have beards. (no. i can't actually do this on cybernations. if only, if only.)
let's see... uhhhhhhh. i'm grounded again... yeah. i'm kind of unhappy with that right now. it's a lovely day today, and i want to go out. i haven't been uptown - or is it downtown? - in a while, and i really want to see my quaint city in leafless autumn. i feel so very distant from my beloved city of floaters. i feel like (SECRET FRIEND) gets to be out and about all the time, but i don't get to be. you know what? i don't even know what (SECRET FRIEND) does with her life. she's involved with some nasty stuff, i know, so i only think that she goes around town a lot. truth is, she probably just hangs out in some smoky basement somewhere. no offense, (SECRET FRIEND).
uhm... yeah, i'm not doing much in my life. i don't need to do anything. i'm just so damn happy, and i'm reveling in the beauty of this rare occasion. everything is so damn great! i've brushed off all the problems in my life. they're gone, even if a few friends and acquaintances have gone as well. i've made new friends in the process. and i've become more of a nerd. great. (i mean that.)

"Stik Figurs R VERSABLE"

msn drawing chats are FUN. have i ever told you to read bethany's blog? i'm certain i have, but here's a reminder: dancingonthedock.blogspot.com. yeah. we have some badass drawing chats. we make stories with little stick figures and dudes like the emo girl here. she and bethany's stick figure fell in love and went shopping. what a happy ending.

we've had other drawing chats, toooooo. liiiiiike:
yeah. bethany and i are going to make one of those fake websites to hold all of our wonderful stories. let her get me a URL real quicklike... okay, here. it's under construction right now, but in a little while, i'm sure that link will work wonders for you.
the drawings shown in this blog post are both mine. you should see bethany's. fun stuff, fun stuff. go to that fake website someday, and maybe you'll see them. you may not be entertained, since we're idiots, but you can at least try. keep an open mind to our idiocy, and maybe you'll at least crack a smile.

If Only I Had a Closet Full of Lingerie...

sigh. alright. tomorrow is the trick-or-treat night, which doesn't really concern me, but on friday, i've a party to go to, and i can't go if i don't have a costume. i want something sexy. i want something original. unfortunately, i can't be sexy because i lack the sexy clothes. i don't have corsets with cords tying 'em up in the front - one little tug, and the whole thing comes undone - so how am i supposed to be sexy? and i don't have much of anything to choose from. yes, my mom has boxes of halloween junk in the attic, but in all honesty, when you put the articles of clothing together, you don't get much of anything. and i've already used plenty of her stuff for halloween, and i don't want any repeats.
oh, well. i've plenty more halloweens in my lifetime.
college is going to be a blast.

what else is up with me?
hmmm...
i'm going to have to say... absolutely nothing. i'm bored. i've gone back to reading, and by that i mean that i dig in the school library (or rather, i ask friends for recommendations) for good books, and then i sit down and read them in one day. but if a book doesn't suit my fancy, i take ages to read it, refusing to return it without reading the whole thing first, though i really don't care how the story ends. it's something to do. or... not... do.

... i'm feeling rather blank at this precise moment. i'm not happy, nor unhappy. i'm just sitting here, occupying my time on awful websites that i haven't been on in months, maybe even years. it's boring. i'm bored.
i am dissatisfied with my life.
what's missing now?
jeebus.
hmm... maybe i've begun to see the world in a boring way. perhaps i have been placing everything into simple categories: romance, friendship, family, happy, sad. something like that. but there's so much more, i know there is. i'm probably just being silly.

i'm loving this weather. the air is brisk and cold. it's delicious. bethany and i were playing in the leaves the other day. i've got a lot of hair, and she doesn't, so i had leaves stuck all over my head, and she just had a hood full of them. the wind slammed open my door several times today. it's exciting. being outside can be great... but it's much harder to walk to school in the mornings, what with all the rain and fog and freezing weather. dad said it was snowing just a bit ago, and i missed it. that makes me sad. here's hoping that it'll snow again this week.

i've been sick lately. i'm uber runny-nosed and congested; i carried an entire box of tissues around in school and didn't have any left over the next day. worst of all, i've been getting nosebleeds. the worst i've had was three in a row, and i don't mean one per day. i mean three strong, blood-all-over nosebleeds, all within a matter of hours. and on another day, i had a huge one just before i left to walk, so i had to call the bus, climb on with a handful of tissues pressed to my nose, and avoid meeting eye contact with the staring bus-riders. at school, i learned that nosebleeds aren't so common (since when?), and soon enough everyone knew that dani had had a nice, forty-five minute nosebleed. well. yeah. you could even say it lasted the whole day, if you wanted to. every time i touched a tissue to my nose, it came away bloody. for the whole day. pretty grody.
in biology class, i found out that i have a cough. we were watching some nearly-silent documentary, and i allowed just one cough, not realizing how badly i needed to cough until i had already coughed, which i guess pulled some trigger in my body and soon enough i was damn near coughing up blood, so i sat, trembling and convulsing at my desk, trying to stay silent. it was so incredibly hard to do that i started wheezing and tears started streaming down my face. i don't think i have to tell you that when the bell rang, i rushed out of the classroom and coughed up a lung or two.

oh my god.
i'm not sure, but i don't think i cursed more than once in this post.
oh my god. someone tell me it's not true. oh! not true. i said "damn." but i didn't say my mouth's favorite word! that word that always slips out, even when i don't want it to.

(i'm so proud.)

I Am Not Leaving This House Until I Get My Coffee!

mommm! where ARE you? what happened to wednesday morning coffee trips? moooommmmmmmmmmmmmm! it's 9:15. school starts at 10. i was ready to go forty-five minutes ago. if i wasn't waiting for my mother, i would have LEFT forty-five minutes ago.
what the FUCK, mother?
what happened to the ONE bonding day, hmm? HMMM?
besiiiiiiides. i want my coffee.
it's part of my weekly ritual! i can't go without it! c'mooonnnnnnnnnnn, moooommmmmmmmmmmmmm.
ohp. nose is bleeding. gotta go.

I AM NOT LEAVING THIS HOUSE ON FOOT.
I WILL WAIT FOR THAT DAMNABLE RED SUBURBAN, NO MATTER THE COST.