Excessive Worrying: Florida

evan's picking me up at five fifty tomorrow morning so that we can head on over to the high school, where we will collect our band uniforms and pack 'em up. we'll choose seats on bus #1 - did you know that charter buses had bathrooms? i didn't know such a thing existed! - and we will prepare for the twenty-four hour ride.
i feel like maybe i should have called everyone in my family and said good-bye. i mean, what if something happens while i'm gone? what if i get kidnapped and they never see me again? what if someone is diagnosed with cancer and somehow manage to die from it in less than a week? what if one of my brothers has some sort of accident: jace (4) climbs up on something that he shouldn't climb up on, he falls and breaks his neck, or teague (1) follows jace up onto some ledge and loses balance, falls, and dies, or maybe eric (19) suddenly decides to get into hardcore drugs and has an overdose? what if grandpa has another stroke? oh, god, what if sebas decides to do something awful to me when i'm not here, and ends up doing it to my family instead? what if he comes over here with a plan to stab me up, but my mom greets him at the door and gets a nice knife in the neck?
OH, GOD!
well, i should probably try to get some sleep... i wake up in about five hours.
g'bye, all!
i hope this isn't the last time i write to you. D:

I Don't Have an Audience, But Here's to You, Buddies!

i'm not sure how to talk to you anymore, blogger. i'm just experiencing a regular old high school life: nearly failing classes, rushing to get grades up again, being pressured into things by my friends. today they pressured me into trying out for Children of Eden, which is some dumb FaCS musical... that's what it is, right guys? FaCS? i don't know! but yeah. i was just going to go in there, fill out a sheet, join the non-dancing chorus, and hightail it outta there. buuut, i ended up signing up for the dancing chorus and went up to audition for a solo. what the fuck, dani. it was honestly the worst i have ever sounded, i promise. i can sing. i know i can sing. maybe i'm not fantastic, but there's something there. there wasn't anything there tonight. oh, well. solos can fuck themselves, anyway. i don't mind. now a few of the cast knows that i am a nervous wreck and that they should avoid me at all times 'cause i am one crazy bitch. too bad they think i can't sing. that's always sad. but guess what! i've some good news for you.
all my romantic agony has lead up to this: as of friday, i am now dating evan. i'm listening to his CD'S and my shirt smells like his house (i'm probably making that part up). actually, i was kind of stunned that he even had a house. i mean, i knew he wasn't homeless; that's a given. but he never talks about home or family or any of that, so i didn't have any idea what his house could possibly be like, therefore it did not exist. but now it does! i've been there, man. craziness. i didn't have permission from my parents or anything... but i went! nobody was there but him and me...
we played video games.