Dauntlessness at Six Flags!

did i even have an "Excessive Worrying" post about going to chicago? i don't think i did! that really surprises me. i kept on moaning and groaning to my friends about how when i went to six flags i was going to have my feet severed or that a ride would collapse while i was on it. i went on and on and on about all the horrible ways that i was going to die.

the trip in itself came up quite suddenly. "hey, your cousin sami invited you to go visit her in chicago," mom said, and i immediately started to panic. i very rarely see sami, so i was worried that we would have nothing in common and that we wouldn't speak at all the whole time. i worried about the ride to chicago because i was going with a strange family member whom i have barely spoken fifty words to in my whole life. i honestly just didn't want to go at all. but if you're stuck with something, you should allow yourself to enjoy it. so i shook off my negative thoughts and i climbed into my great uncle john's car.

the ride was somewhere between four and five hours. we did the whole thing in silence. neither of us spoke at all. i flipped through a far side gallery book before i finally just gave up and stared out of the window for the entire ride. the scenery in illinois is no different from the scenery here, in all honesty. they have different stores, but it's essentially the same. trees, buildings, lakes. blah, blah, blah.

after the long car ride, i finally arrived at lake zurich. i was a little confused, since mom had told me that i was going to chicago, but whatever. lake zurich is close. sami wasn't there at first, but her step mom talked to me and quickly discovered that i was very different from sami in that i was wearing thrift store clothes and didn't wish to change that. she was just asking me what i would like to do, and in moments she discovered that i had no interest in manicures, pedicures, getting my hair styled, or shopping for brand-name clothes. i mean, i wasn't sitting there going, "ew, no," but she figured me out. the whole time i was there, though, my answers were mostly, "i don't care," "sure," "whatever you want to do," and "whatever's convenient." i guess i was trying to be helpful by letting them decide, but i just made decisions more difficult.

the first time i really showed that i could get excited about anything was when we picked sami up from work. she got in and said, "that was the most pointless last half hour of work. i just sat on the floor and listened to my coworkers talk about digimon and pokemon." so of course i screamed, "YES!" and made a fool of myself. but i guess it's good to let people know what is staying in their house, and i let them know right then and there that i am kind of a nerd. well... i don't think i'm a nerd. to be a nerd is something truly spectacular, and it takes work. i have not reached the level of nerdiness to be classified as a nerd quite yet. i may never be. nerds are the rulers of the world. they're everywhere! they're everything! they are the truly elite.

one of sami's half-brothers, nathan, was a total car fanatic. he isn't even three, and he was rattling off more car names and brands than i ever plan to know. "can you get poppie his corvette?" "nay-nay, where's the hummer?" he always knew, too. he even talked about his dad's toyota. i don't know the differences between those sorts of things. toyotas, fords, whatever they are, they're all the same to me.

we went shopping the second day i was there, at some mall called Gurnee Mills. gurnee is the town that six flags is in, but i couldn't even see the coasters from the mall. the towns are much, much bigger in illinois. anyway, the whole mall was an adventure for me. i hadn't seen the majority of most of the stores before, and all the styles in the popular stores seem so silly to me. we spent way too long in rue 21 while i squeezed between giant masses of neon cloth, laughing at the animal prints and getting way too confused over shirts that looked like skirts. a rainbow must have thrown up in that place. i eventually just started grabbing the most insane things i could find so that i could try them on.

i have a question. aren't big breasts good things? don't men sweat to the thought of big, bouncing, luscious breasts? for some reason i've always thought that. but when i tried on these things, my boobs were hanging out all over the place. the dresses and boob shirts all scolded me for having breasts! what the fuck is wrong with you, rue 21? you're supposed to make my chest look really great, not put a stranglehold on my tits.

i ended up getting a vibrant yellow v-neck shirt. that's all i got. after hours of being there, we had barely even touched a quarter of that giant mall. mostly we had just been trying on the fanciest dresses in the fanciest stores. we didn't accomplish much, and soon sami's step mom was stressed out because of the boys' behavior. we got lost trying to leave, and we found a used, red condom on the steps. that was entertaining.

the day after that was the day i had been both dreading and looking forward to since i arrived. we headed toward six flags, and i was surprised to find that i was not feeling sick to my stomach. i felt strangely calm and determined. i wanted to ride all the roller coasters, just to prove to everyone, including myself, that i wasn't a total wuss. i was especially looking forward to Superman, which is a ridiculously dangerous roller coaster that turns you so that your body is more or less parallel to the ground. you go through flips and drops and everything while like that.

here, i'll give you a list of the rides we went on, in no particular order:
the ragin' cajun
batman, twice
the iron wolf
the dark knight (ridiculously long line for a sucky, sucky ride)
superman (I AM A GODDESS)
american eagle, both sides
the viper
the demon (last roller coaster we went on, made us both very light-headed and dizzy for the rest of the day)
king chaos (NEVER AGAIN NEVER EVER EVER EVER MOST TERRIFYING THING EVER)
roaring rapids
uh... some log ride
a double-decker carousel!

i hope i'm not forgetting anything. it was really a fun trip, and sami and i got along just fine, if we weren't just a little awkward.

i tire of this post. i hope you all are very, very sick of reading my ultra long rants.