Excessive Worrying: Evan's Leaving?!

i'm a moron. evan's joining the national guard band, and it didn't even occur to me that that means he's going to basic training. so when he told auriel and samm today, i was appalled. crestfallen. heartbroken, even. my first reaction: get sad. second reaction: get mad. third reaction: get apologetic and very sad.

but it's okay. it doesn't even matter right now. i kind of wish that i hadn't found out that he's leaving, because i don't want to be sad over something that's months away. dwelling on that would just make our relationship no fun at all for now, when i should be thinking, okay, he's leaving. guess we'll have to have twice the fun now, then! and obviously i've thought about that, too. i'll be perfectly fine with all of this tomorrow; i always am. tomorrow's always better for me. i let my mind get crammed full of scenarios and tire itself out, and by the next day it's perfectly satisfied.

would you like to hear some of the scenarios it has come up with so far?
1. the long-distance thing doesn't work out for us.
2. he and some sexy band geek with perky tits will lock eyes from across the room, and later that night they will be drawn to a supply closet or something where they will accidentally meet and have wild, rough, unprotected sex.
3. he gets all uber sexy muscular and finally realizes that he is too good-looking for me.
4. all those sexy sweaty man beasts all fall in love with each other and have a six-hundred-and-four man wedding.
yeah, i haven't come up with much. the only thing to worry about is that he'll leave me. he's not going to die or anything, he'll just leave me and it will be sad.

but it's okay! it's okay! i have proven that i can live without a relationship, and after a long time of mourning the loss of sexy army man, i will get on with my life.

or, you know, he'll stay with me and we will continue our relationship?
i suppose that is also a possible scenario? maybe? hopefully? please? he'll only be gone for a couple of months, and then he'll come home and we'll be fine! right? maybe?

you know what's terrible, though? when evan started to notice how upset i was, he tried to comfort me by saying, "there's still a chance i won't get in, you know." how terrible is that! is his failure supposed to make me feel better?
evan, if you want to be in the national guard band, be in the national guard band. i'm certainly not going to wish for the opposite. if you really want to be in the band, your agnostic girlfriend will even pray that you get in the band. i'm terrible to you, i know it, but i want you to do whatever makes you happy. (CHEESY, CHEESY, CHEEEEEESY.)