Sun and Sand... and Marching Band.

hello, all! i have returned from florida! it was fantastic, i can assure you. i didn't need to worry about anything. it was all really, really, really great. i spent the bus rides (all of them, regardless of how short the ride) snuggled up with evan, napping comfortably in his lap. the buses were wonderful! they were comfy and smelled good (my pajama pants still smell like our bus) and there was always a movie going for us. i usually just fell asleep during the movies, but still. everyone was quietly absorbed in their silly movies, so the bus was never almost never loud.
i think we went to the ocean on the first day in florida, which was kind of scary, and i didn't really like it, and then we went to see the Blue Man Group. the Blue Man Group was fucktastic. strobe lights flashed, music boomed, black lights glowed, people laughed hysterically. i couldn't even begin to describe the whole thing. it was just really terrific. i went ahead and got an "autograph" from one of the blue men: a blue thumb print on my ticket and fingerprints on my face.
on the second day, we got up bright an' early to go off to some instrumental thingy. maybe i'll remember what it's called later. anyway, we went to this thing where this Disney guy who had done so much for Disney music for twenty years taught us real quick-like how to play some Disney songs with emotion. i figured the whole thing would be a total bust - band class in florida? blech! - but it was actually really fun and i found myself wishing that we could stay longer. but the day had bigger, better plans for us.
so, off to Disney World we went. we were dropped off at the transportation center, where we immediately hopped onto a bus to Animal Kingdom - a regular-type city bus, with bars and straps to hang onto and everything. i couldn't get over the fact that we were on public transportation in a big city. in fucking florida, even. my balance on the thing was awful, of course, and i kept smashing into evan or the poles or almost falling off of the step i was standing on. then we arrived in Animal Kingdom. pretty much the first thing we saw was a little group of Disney characters, surrounded by crowds of kiddies and their parents. my first reaction was, "ack, they're a lot scarier than i thought i would find them," but i got over myself eventually and decided that i really wanted to hug Papa Bear from The Jungle Book. but nooo, i just got to hug Meeko, the raccoon from Pocahontas. when i went up to him, he made kissy noises at me. instead of giving him a nice peck on the nose, i just stared at him like he was a crazy person, and posed for a picture. when i was done, i rubbed his head and told him, "thank you." he rubbed up against my hand and made a funny purring noise. then we were off to the more exciting parts of the park. we went on a few rides... hmm, let's see. there was something from the movie Dinosaur: we were going back in time to retrieve the Iguanodon, who apparently held all secrets to the extinction of dinosaurs or something. the director of the time machine thing was like, "NO, you're not sending them to that time, that's the day of the meteor shower," but the dude who wanted the Iguanodon was like, "teehee guys, i'm sending you anyway, bye." so the ride was one of those dark ones in a building, with short little drops and turns, and there were plenty of roaring dinosaurs. bethany was screaming bloody murder the entire time, whereas i was screaming, "why do we have to stop in front of every hungry dinosaur, HUH?" to the talking time machine and that dumbass who sent us to the day of the meteor shower. well, of course the meteor shower started happening, and the dude's like, "GET THEM OUT OF THERE," and actually tells us that we're not going to make it, and we pass right by that Iguanodon and he says to leave it there, there's no time, but somehow, after all that screaming about us going to die, we end up back in present-day, the dude isn't even surprised, and somehow the Iguanodon, which was about twice the size of the little car we were riding in, hopped into the car when we weren't looking. okay.
after that, we discovered how expensive the meals were in Disney World. i paid maybe eight bucks for a mediocre cheeseburger and fries. i wasn't angry, though. i understand that they have to make enough money to maintain all of Disney World, and enough to make new rides and buy enough food to feed hundreds of thousands of people every day, etcetera, etcetera. after we ate, i think we went off to some safari. maybe. what's there to say about a safari? there were lions, giraffes, cheetahs, rhinos, hippos, wildebeests, warthogs, crocodiles, elephants, flamingos, antelopes, whatever. it was really quite cool. i think my favorites were the white rhinos that stood right in the middle of the road that we were supposed to be driving on. they were so cute.
next, i was somehow persuaded into going on a roller coaster. it was this Mt. Everest thing, the newest ride in the Asia part of Animal Kingdoms. bethany and i weren't going to go on it at first, because we've a fear of heights and speed and the air we breathe, but evan's just so damn good-looking, and i didn't want to be a total pussy when we were in Disney World, so i kind of went, "okay, bethany. we're going." i thought she was mad at me, and i was just kind of standing behind her, making sad faces and whispering to evan about how i felt really badly about it. but guess what? in the line for a freaking roller coaster, when i was finally starting to grasp the fact that i was about to go on a scary ride, i had my first kiss. well, kind of. i guess evan sort of kissed me the night before, in the hotel, but i pretended that was an accident and it didn't count because i was shocked into not kissing him back. anyway, Mt. Everest was splendid! it wasn't too crazy. it didn't have flips or anything, but it did go backwards at full speeds into the dark. that was the best part! i really, really liked it.
i think we left Animal Kingdom after that and went to Magic Kingdom (or whatever). that's the one with the Disney castle, of course you know it. we went on, um... let's see... Thunder Mountain, Splash Mountain (is that three mountain rides we've been on already?), and, uh... oh, yeah! the creepy It's a Small World ride! i think that's it. to conclude our fun time there, they had a lovely fireworks show for us (do they do that every night?) where all the fireworks were perfectly choreographed to the music playing. evan and i didn't do the cliche kissing-beneath-the-fireworks thing, but there was really no need, because we had been stealing nervous kisses in the lines for the other rides. i was still pretty worried about kissing and i made stupid noises after each one or mumbled about how much i hated the world because i wasn't the greatest kisser ever or something stupid like that. anyway, after the fireworks, we tried to leave the park and return to our charter buses. griffin, bethany's beau, led us through the crowds. he had bethany's left hand, i had her right, evan had my right, and evan would have had matti's - (SECRET FRIEND)'s beau - but there was some awkwardness after evan accidentally confused matti's hand for mine (don't know how) and did this whole stroking thing with his thumb. so of course griffin, bethany, evan, and i got separated from (SECRET FRIEND), matti, ethan, lauren... and maybe someone else i don't know about. we ended up getting lost, had to take a ferry, and were totally late to the buses.
next day was our performance day, maybe. man, i couldn't tell what day it was all week, leave me alone. our march through Magic Kingdom was so very short, maybe the shortest march i've done except for wednesday mornings in class. after that pathetic, insignificant march, we were sent off to do whatever we wanted, so we did just that. i can't remember what we did, sadly. i think maybe this was our Hollywood Studios and Epcot day? in Hollywood Studios, we went on some silly Star Wars ride and the Tower of Terror or something: some scary elevator drop ride that i went on because bethany suggested it, and she's afraid of all the things she should be afraid of. she and i didn't go on some rock 'n roll coaster, but i went and found my elusive Donald Duck stuffed animal (i hadn't seen one in any other park) and she and i began a collection of trash for ashley, who was sad and alone back home. i also bought ashley a Chewbacca because her nickname is Chewie (her wookie impression is very commendable). at Epcot, we went on some car testing ride (meh) and then bethany and i sat around again while our friends went on a scary ride that had apparently caused some guy to die way back when. well, i guess our friends forgot about us, because we waited around for an hour and a half or something before (SECRET FRIEND) and her beau came out and told us that (SECRET FRIEND) had lost her phone. then they disappeared again and we waited some more. oh, well. the fireworks in Epcot were unbelievable. perfectly choreographed, and with giant explosions of flame, not just your average fireworks. it was ten times better than Magic Kingdom's had been.
we spent the last day at Universal Studios. bethany and i refused to go on some flippy, swirly roller coaster: The Hulk. we agreed that we would go on the Dueling Dragons instead, but when we walked halfway across the park to that one, we saw that there was no place to smash our feet into during the ride. dangly feet are not okay, so we immediately started to kind of hyperventilate and tried running away while evan held me much tighter than i thought he could and prevented me from leaving. bethany and i screamed that we would go on The Hulk, we would go on The Hulk! so evan let go, and we scurried off to the big, green and purple coaster. the wait was forty-five minutes or something, and half-way through the line, after plenty of nervous conversations, there was an announcement about technical difficulties. bethany and i decided that it was a sign from God, so we scurried away through areas we were not allowed to be in and broke out of that hellhole. we went to find our friends, but what do you know, we couldn't. they had all our money and bethany's cell phone and glasses, so we couldn't get ahold of them and we couldn't get anything to eat or drink. we were dying of thirst (florida's a lot hotter than iowa, if you didn't know), but since we couldn't do anything about it and we had noticed that The Hulk was working again, we gave up and got back in line. it was only a twenty minute wait this time, and when we got up to the front, all we could do was scream about "WHAT IF WE PISS OURSELVES," "WHAT IF THE TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES COME BACK AND WE GET STUCK UPSIDE-DOWN" (i added a "AND WHAT IF THE SEATS OPEN WHILE WE'RE UPSIDE DOWN, SO WE FALL INTO THEM AND BREAK OUR NECKS" to that one) and then, when we were in our seats, our voices got really high and cracked a lot, our entire bodies trembled violently, and everyone around us immediately hated us. when the ride started moving, we screamed and screamed, "WHY ARE WE DOING THIS, OH MY GOD THERE'S NO WAY OUT NOW OH MY GOD WE'RE GONNA DIE," and then, B O O M, the ride started and it was the. most. fun. thing. ever. we screamed with joy now instead of horror, and smiled and smiled and smiled.
well, it took us a very long time to find our friends, but we did, and we did not die of dehydration. we went on a Jurassic Park water ride twice, found another, more extreme water ride (only four of us agreed to go on that one), went on The Hulk again, and went on some silly "4-D" Spiderman ride. the whole trip was amazing. i couldn't have wished for better luck. whew.
oh, and by the way, i'm not so very nervous about kissing anymore. unfortunately, you can ask anyone who sat around us on the bus and they'll agree. eeheehee.

Excessive Worrying: Florida

evan's picking me up at five fifty tomorrow morning so that we can head on over to the high school, where we will collect our band uniforms and pack 'em up. we'll choose seats on bus #1 - did you know that charter buses had bathrooms? i didn't know such a thing existed! - and we will prepare for the twenty-four hour ride.
i feel like maybe i should have called everyone in my family and said good-bye. i mean, what if something happens while i'm gone? what if i get kidnapped and they never see me again? what if someone is diagnosed with cancer and somehow manage to die from it in less than a week? what if one of my brothers has some sort of accident: jace (4) climbs up on something that he shouldn't climb up on, he falls and breaks his neck, or teague (1) follows jace up onto some ledge and loses balance, falls, and dies, or maybe eric (19) suddenly decides to get into hardcore drugs and has an overdose? what if grandpa has another stroke? oh, god, what if sebas decides to do something awful to me when i'm not here, and ends up doing it to my family instead? what if he comes over here with a plan to stab me up, but my mom greets him at the door and gets a nice knife in the neck?
OH, GOD!
well, i should probably try to get some sleep... i wake up in about five hours.
g'bye, all!
i hope this isn't the last time i write to you. D:

Sorry, Suicidal Ants!

i'm noticing that my blog is really freaking sad and lonely, now that i have a beau. i mean, this blog was basically just for my ramblings about man-related things. "pigs, pigs, chauvinistic pigs," "i couldn't date anyway," "I WANT YOU SO FREAKING BADLY," and now it's just kind of... well, i guess there's a lot i could talk about, if evan didn't read my blog. i don't think it's appropriate for my beau to read what i think about him. i'm sure he has an idea, but still, some of that should just really stay in my head (though it rarely does). i guess i would also have things to say if it was just evan reading my blog, but since others read, i can't very well go on a rant about how smexy he is, can i? it could be very embarrassing for the bugger.
anyway, i guess suppose i could throw you a bone, try and find something to talk about with you. i'm going to florida on saturday, with the marching band. i play the alto saxophone, and i'm learning that i'm actually not all that bad at it. i've been to a few lessons now, since kahlise dragged me to my FIRST EVER one a month or two ago. i really like band lessons. they're very easy-going and mr. edgeton isn't as scary as i thought he was. actually, he's a really great guy and i get along with him just fine. he knows that i am a nervous person, and he gets that. he also teases me about it, but it's all in good fun. back to florida. bethany and her beau, griffin, are on the same bus as evan and me. kahlise and matti, however, are on a completely different bus. it will be weird without them, i think. due to some past students' shenanigans (blowjob on the bus, woohoo!), we are required to swap seat partners after a certain hour of the night. bethany is my night partner and has agreed to let me put a pillow on her shoulder and sleep there, which is awfully nice of her since she's OCD and generally doesn't like being touched. i love you, bethany. i think i'll end up being wide awake in the night since i'll be all comfy with evan for... what? over twelve hours? before switching to bethany. i'll be drowsy during the day and hyper at night. we're not allowed to do anything during the after hours, though. i'll just scoot over to bethany's seat, stare at my knees, try sleeping without having to touch my poor OCD friend, and then finally succumb to using her shoulder as a pillow-holder and sleeping fitfully for maybe an hour before i wake up, look around at everyone, and stare off into space for the rest of the night. i can't sleep on a bus, silly! i've never done it before, i don't think. what makes this trip any different? but hey, at least i can giggle to myself as i play staring games, and no one will know. i bet it will be fun to just turn in the seat and stare at bethany for as long as i can without bursting into a fit of laughter, and then i'll stare at whoever is on my other side (probably evan or griffin) and snicker to myself as they sleep. actually, i have a hard time believing that bethany will sleep. maybe we can play staring games together. SOUNDS FUN, DOESN'T IT, BETHANY? anyway! enough about the bus ride, dani; no one cares.
the band is marching at Disneyworld, you see. i've never been there, and i'm awfully nervous about marching. i've never really marched and played before; during football season, i just memorize my places on the field and stay in step. i don't play. but now i'm actually trying, and it's not so bad except for the fact that i don't use the glide-step; i kind of bounce around and wiggle my butt and trip over my own feet. without the glide-step, it's a whole lot harder to hold whole notes without them being bumped around... you know, like when someone goes "AAAAAAAAH" and you thump them on the back a lot so it's like, "AAA-AAA-AAA-AAA-AAAH" instead. meh, marching won't be so bad... it's the uniforms that get to me. we've got to squeeze into (okay, maybe it's just me who squeezes) these little orange jackets that squish down our boobs (or maybe just my boobs) and warm us up without fail, even in winter. i'm worried, of course, about that last bit. how warm must it be in florida at this time of year? i'm going to be dying in my t-shirts and jeans, let alone in that thick marching uniform! i worry that i'll pass out from heat exhaustion while marching along in Disney. but it's okay; i've been worrying a lot lately, about a lot of things, but i've never any need to.
i'm going to hug donald duck, you can count on it. i freaking love donald duck. i don't care that i'm terrified of masks and mascot uniforms and all that; i trust Disney. they wouldn't hire some nutjob serial rapist to dress up in the donald duck suit and pose for pictures with three-year-olds all day. it'll be a good person in that suit, and they'll be amused by the teenage girl who went to Magical Kingdoms just to give them a hug. i freaking love donald duck! in fact, i've been saving up for this trip so that i can buy the biggest, cuddliest donald duck there is. i know that's retarded, and i know that i won't actually buy the biggest and cuddliest one because that'll be the most expensive, and i've learned how to save money. i'm terrified of spending now. but i will buy a donald duck, or i will be immensely disappointed.
i'm really excited about florida, i am. i was trying to lose some weight so that i could go swimming for the first time in three years, but i gave up on that for some reason and i don't own a bathing suit. well, uh... i guess i can swim in shorts and a t-shirt? except i don't own shorts. ... i am going swimming, dammit. i will jump into the ocean with all my clothes on, if i have to. i've done it before, but with pools, and the ocean is one hundred times better than any shitty pool. sure, it scares the hell out of me, what with the sharks and the fish poo and the squishy animals living on the bottom (i stepped in what may have been a dead jellyfish the last time i was at the ocean), but there's something so great about it. there are still so many undiscovered critters in the ocean, so many mysteries. aaand someone in another country could be in that same ocean at the very same moment as me, maybe behaving in the same way (ogling her sexy beau?). it's just so big, and i am so very small and insignificant in comparison. and phytoplankton! phytoplankton amaze me for some reason. they're so very, very tiny, and there are so very, very many. if we are insignificant, what are phytoplankton? in a way, though, i guess they do keep many things alive. little fish eats phytoplankton, bigger fish eats little fish, biggest fish eats bigger fish, sharky eats biggest fish, whatever. what do humans keep alive? ourselves. nothing but ourselves and the living things that we want to keep to ourselves. we kill and kill and kill and eat and eat and eat and whenever some animal gets hungry and gobbles up a human, it's terrible, oh so terrible, but we get hungry and gobble up animals all the freakin' time. we're selfish. i guess maybe phytoplankton does more for the world than we do, in a way. we're just lucky that we've got the brains and figured out all of the wonderful things we did. and no, i'm not a vegetarian all of the sudden, i'm just acknowledging the fact that the human race is selfish and hypocritical. i'm only human, too. i gobble up animals all the time! oh. um... i got distracted, sorry.
i'm going to prom, y'know. i'm excited, sure, but i'm very worried about it. i don't dance. i mean, i can't. i mean, i can't because i don't and i don't because i can't and i won't learn 'cause i'm stubborn as hell. i'm worried i'll ruin it for people somehow. maybe i'll just sit there in my pretty several-hundred-dollar dress and my perfectly made-up face and big ringlets of shiny hair, staring at the dancers and shaking my head frantically whenever evan asks me to dance. but i don't want to do that. i want to have fun. i want to go in there in my expensive getup and have all my "girlfriends" tell me how gorgeous i look and i want to tell them right back that they look even better, ohmigod i love your hair, look at those shoes, ohmigod, your nails! maybe i can just be a regular-type girl for one night, and maybe i can just go out on the dance floor and do whatever awkward thing i feel like doing and maybe i can just go with the flow of the whole romantic thing (i'm not saying i'll wake up at an after party, confused and naked in a stranger's bed next to evan, that's just silly) and just let the whole experience be wonderful. i'll tell you one thing, though: i am not wearing shoes to prom.

I Don't Have an Audience, But Here's to You, Buddies!

i'm not sure how to talk to you anymore, blogger. i'm just experiencing a regular old high school life: nearly failing classes, rushing to get grades up again, being pressured into things by my friends. today they pressured me into trying out for Children of Eden, which is some dumb FaCS musical... that's what it is, right guys? FaCS? i don't know! but yeah. i was just going to go in there, fill out a sheet, join the non-dancing chorus, and hightail it outta there. buuut, i ended up signing up for the dancing chorus and went up to audition for a solo. what the fuck, dani. it was honestly the worst i have ever sounded, i promise. i can sing. i know i can sing. maybe i'm not fantastic, but there's something there. there wasn't anything there tonight. oh, well. solos can fuck themselves, anyway. i don't mind. now a few of the cast knows that i am a nervous wreck and that they should avoid me at all times 'cause i am one crazy bitch. too bad they think i can't sing. that's always sad. but guess what! i've some good news for you.
all my romantic agony has lead up to this: as of friday, i am now dating evan. i'm listening to his CD'S and my shirt smells like his house (i'm probably making that part up). actually, i was kind of stunned that he even had a house. i mean, i knew he wasn't homeless; that's a given. but he never talks about home or family or any of that, so i didn't have any idea what his house could possibly be like, therefore it did not exist. but now it does! i've been there, man. craziness. i didn't have permission from my parents or anything... but i went! nobody was there but him and me...
we played video games.