The Grass is Always Greener... And the Men are Always More Desirable.

right. so. i'm not unhappy, i'm just... confused. or... having fun by screwing with my own emotions. it's actually quite entertaining. you should try it some time!
here's how it goes. there's this guy who's had a thing for me since, ah, sixth grade. now, i can't stress this enough: i would not go out with him. ahem. anyway. well, recently i've been calling him every other night at 10:30. yeah. we're buds. we didn't use to be, of course. i used to hate him. he terrified me (still does). sooooo, naturally, we got pretty close and he was all lovey-dovey (hate that), so i was seriously turned off. some of the shameless flirting was funny, but you know, it just wasn't... desired. i like to deserve the praise that i'm given. i don't take compliments well, and he always complimented me. sick. blech. gross.
but now that he's got a different love interest, it's like...
hmm...
i want it.
now, "it" isn't really anything at all. i still wouldn't date the guy. he's still lovey-dovey touchy-feely. it's still repulsive. but for some reason, i just really want to steal him from her, even though i've never said a word to the girl and i've got no logical reason for hating her.
(it's just her narsty-arse teeth.)
it's just, like... hrmf. i don't really know what it's like. i suppose i want some chaos. i want to create, and what better to create than other people's misery? yesss. especially when i get to use seduction. seducing people is very, very fun. especially when you aren't actually willing to do anything with anyone. i'm a terrible person, i know, but i like having power over that guy. and even if i can't win him back, i want to rub it in his face that i was right all along and that he never "loved" me like he said. i was right all along: it was just infatuation.
"and you think you know everything," i would say.
think what you will about my cruel intentions. i'm still thinking this all over. it would be lovely to come up with a plan.

Requested by Bethany... Modified by Me.

"By God," she whispered, "Where could that spider have gone?"

Danielle, frozen with terror, sat crouched on her bed. Her eyes darted around the room, searching for the furry little arachnid.

"Fuck," she murmured, relaxing a bit. "It's just a little spider. What's it gonna do?"

"Oh, I'll tell you what I'll do," came a voice. "I'll crawl into your open mouth when you're asleep. I'll make an egg sack on your tonsil, and in the morning I'll be vacationing in your left lung."

"EEEEEEEK!" Danielle ran up the stairs to her parents.

"What's the matter with you?" her dad asked.

"There's a spider in my room. I don't know where he is, but he's going to make an egg sack on my tonsil and vacation in my left lung."

"Are you retarded?" her mom spat, staring Danielle down.

Danielle glared. "Thanks for helping with my self-esteem, Mom. And no, I'm not retarded. I swear to God, there is a spider in my room and it talks. And it has every intent on filling my lungs up with spiders. In a few weeks, I'll have spiders pouring from my mouth and nose. You'll see. You'll all see."


And oh, did they ever.
In a few weeks, Danielle lay seizing on her bed, spiders pouring from her mouth and nose, laughing all the way.

It's Been A Little While, Eh?

well, hello. didn't expect to see you here.

anyhoo, i've decided that i should listen to my friends and make a new post, no matter how retarded and unorthodox it may be.

i suppose a few things are new with me. nothing important, of course; i don't do anything. i suppose i could tell you about Brandon Hardesty. he's this guy on youtube i've been watching a lot. i first saw him a couple years ago when he did Strange Faces and Noises I Can Make. he's pretty damn great. i'm one of the crazy psycho chicks with creepy commentary. sometimes i even warn him before i say something. for instance: "creepy commentary: aww, aren't you adorable when you're staring into the nothing?" stuff like that. he's really funny, you should go check him out. but there's no way you love him more than i do.
just kidding.
kind of.

um... let's see, what else is there? i suppose i should say something about my bizzare obsession with Canada? yeah... well... i don't really know. i just have an obsession with Canada. Canadian accents make me giggle. Ireland's pretty sweet, too. Irish accents are extremely sexy. British, too. that one's a given. bloody brilliant, they are.
hmm. i just have an overall obsession with accents. um... yeah. whatever...

you see why i shouldn't be blogging, bethany and (SECRET FRIEND)? i have nothing to blog about. now i'm very angry with the both of you. grrr! roar.

hm... there's my cat... he got mauled by some unknown creature. his nose is all cut up and bloody and his right hind leg was like, shredded. he can't even let it touch the ground when he sits. mysteriously, my other cat also had a limp.
hmm. i wonder what happened there.

the interwebs suck. people can never tell if i'm being sarcastic or not.
(SECRET FRIEND) convinced me to go back to www.runescape.com, which is okay... but i'm getting sick of it already. i mean, come on. being a female knight is pretty cool and all, but geez. i don't even like to work on my combat level. i don't really like to work on any of my levels. (SECRET FRIEND) brought up her fishing and cooking levels by like thirty levels in one day. i don't like cooking, and i always go back and forth from the island Karamja and the bank in Draynor Village, so it takes me a little while. i also like to go sell my lobsters at the Grand Exchange. so i don't get much leveling up done, and some of the people on runescape seriously annoy me. especially the guys who befriend me, laugh when i tell them about the twelve-year-old who asked me out online, and then ask me out.
1: i don't know you.
2: i could be a fifty-year-old with fourteen eyes and tentacles.
3:i don't WANT to know you.
4: YOU could be a fifty-year-old with fourteen eyes and tentacles.

hmmmmmm.
hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.
hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

(SECRET FRIEND) and bethany, you got your post. now you know why i didn't want to do it. so nyeh. consider my non-active lifestyle before you ask for new blog posts. :)

Summer Vacation So Far

summer vacation seems to be quite nice for me so far. i've been sitting on my ass doing nothing for most of the time, because...

i am:

6. a video-game junkie.
i've been playing paper mario nonstop for a few days now. literally nonstop. (SECRET FRIEND) got pissed at me because i ignored the phone when she called three or four times. oh, well. paper mario's kind of fun. i'm on the, uh, shadow queen now, and damn. game over. well, anyway.
i've decided that mustaches define manliness. i mean, just look at mario! he's the manliest man of all men! and just look at that mustache!

he is the manliest man of all. and ADORABLE, too! i love me some mario. but why does luigi get a mustache? luigi is a total fag. yuck. just look at HIM.

faggot.


well, anyway. i've done a few other things during the summer vacation. i hung out at spruce cabin with my friends, just like i do every year. it was pretty exciting. if you want to hear about it, i suggest you go read about it on bethany's blog: Dancing on the Dock.
i, uh, went to the art walk and abruptly left... (free hugs shirts aren't good for me. physical touchy = no no.)
and i went to see the show Pippin at the Stephen Sondheim center last night. it was a cool show. yeah. so.
um, yeah. that's what i've done so far this summer, but i'm totally mellowed out. it's sweet. i actually called this creep that has had a thing for me since sixth grade, sebastian, and i wasn't angry at him for once. we're buds, but we usually have some major problems. well, with me all chill, i pretty much love everyone right now. i have my moments, but whatever. i'm actually kind of happy. i definitely just needed a break from school. phew.

Accepting the Fact That All Men are Swine

well, i've accepted it before, but then i ignored my instincts and went back to believing that they could be good. well, they can't. men are dirty pigs that are completely engrossed in sexual desire. all of them. every single one.

i don't see what the big deal is. sex doesn't seem fun at all. it sounds painful, repulsive, embarrassing. that's how i think of it. i honestly don't know how it feels, but i can't imagine it feels very good. i suppose i'm one of the very few people in this world who still think that way. i suppose i'm kind of old-fashioned there. but whatever.

we were put on this planet to reproduce, so sex is mandatory. if you want babies. i don't understand kissing, either... why? just... why? who decided it would be a good idea to suck on someone's lips? i hate them. they're retarded.

i bet it was a man.

i would never be with a woman, don't get me wrong. there's no point. you can't have kids when you're with the same sex, and since we're put on the planet to make babies, we're put on this planet to be heterosexual. i suppose being homosexual is alright since our population is insane, but i don't understand bisexuals. i have my own not-so-nice theories on that.

men are great, honest to god. they're just filthy swine.

oink, oink.

Having a Wonderific Day

last night i was having a panic attack because i needed to get a speech done so that i could go to the movies. i was grounded because i was failing speech class, and my mother has taken away everything i love. those are her words, not mine. she even took away soy milk. well, anyway, i was freaking out about my entire future. i thought that if i didn't get this speech done, i would have to take hucke's class next year, which is supposedly really hard. then i would fail speech for all four years of high school, wouldn't be able to graduate, and would lead a horrid life. i was totally freaking out. i was even getting a wee bit suicidal.
with a little help from some friends, i was able to settle down and suddenly i was totally happy. i had this sudden burst of inspiration and confidence, and easily did a speech on Pluto. i don't think it will actually reach the ten minute mark as required, but at least now i can pass hosbond's speech class. i won't be grounded during the summer, like i was planning on being, and i'll be free to have all the fun i can handle (not much). i'll be able to go to my friends' traditional cabin trip and tent-in-bethany's-backyard trip at the end of the summer, which is what i look forward to every year. the tent-in-bethany's-backyard trip is always really awesome. the first year we did it, we sat around and stared at the stars. we always have really deep conversations, which isn't normal for us. that's why i always really love this particular get-together. we get really insightful, but we still have so much fun with it. we wished on three shooting stars that year. i'm not entirely sure what i wished for, and i doubt i got it, but it was still fucking sweet.
last year we hung out with beth's brother and her brother's best friend. it was great. they chased us around a lot. (SECRET FRIEND) and ashley were captured immediately, while i ran for my life and threw myself in the tick-infested, tall grass in some ditch. i kind of got tired of the silence, so i snuck up behind the tent and listened to (SECRET FRIEND), ashley, bethany's bro, and bro's best friend plot against me and bethany. i walked up behind a bush, and suddenly bethany was talking to me. she was in the bush, so i got in, too. we listened to them as they tried to remember my name and called bethany a bitch. it was really quite amusing. they never found us. later that night, bro and friend showed up with shaving cream and sprayed us like mad. we drew smiley faces on one another's shirts and blah, blah, blah. it was fun. it ended very interestingly, i can tell you that much. ...if i could go back in time, i would try and change that interesting ending by just a little bit. or maybe it's better this way. yeah. maybe.

but, anyway, my point is that i was really wanting to go to the tent-in-bethany's-backyard thing, and now i probably can!

FUCK YEAH!

The Day of Graduation (Not Mine)

well. today, as a freshman in the band, i was required to go to the high school and sit on my ass in the burning sun for hours and hours. of course, being me, i wore all black. long sleeves, long pants. my mistake, but whatever.

my brother, eric, is/was in the class of 2008, so he graduated. i cheered for him when he got his diploma, but do i get any thanks? no. i waited around for him in the commons, and when he saw me, he just shoved his tie in my hands, said "danielle, take this home," and walked away. well, that's okay.
today's been kind of cool. i saw an old friend, hugged a friends brother on several occasions, and got a hug from mr. hucke. every time i see mr. hucke, i tell him "i don't know you, but i love you," so he's come to expect it. we were both at a grad party, and as hucke was about to leave, he looked at me expectantly and did a little girly-wave, so of course i said it. but i wasn't expecting him to laugh and give me a hug! brilliant.

it's kind of weird to think that i've only got three years before i'm going to be the one graduating. my little brothers will cheer for me, and i'll be rude to them if they want to say good-bye to me. i'll be one of the students who is not given an award, and one of the very few who is truly hurt by that. but i know it's up to me, really. i haven't started out very well, but with a little extra effort, maybe i could do alright. i could certainly get back into theatre, that's for sure. one of my teachers is constantly nagging me about joining speech team. maybe i'll listen to him next year. maybe i'll even do musicals and shit.

nonetheless, i think it'll be weird without my brother around to be a complete asshole. he's only staying at our house for a couple of weeks and then he's out of here. well, here's to you, eric. i hope you don't regret not going to college.